* Title: A Heart On The Mend (WIP!)
* Raiting: R
* Pairing: Ryan/OFC (past Mikey/OFC - Ryan/Keltie) (Implied Jon/Spencer)
* Disclaimer: I don't know or own any of the people here mentioned except for Faith.
* Comments/summary: The great writer once said: Write about what you know.
And this is what I know.
It's the first time I manage to blend 2 of my worlds in one thing.
Cause I love what I do, which is being a med student, and I love writing.
This is the story of Faith. A surgeon. She works in a hospital every day and has night shifts once a week.
I'm not sure how the shift system works in your hospitals, so I'm making it work with mine.
I'm about to use some technical language and medical jokes I've heard. So if you don't get them, try google or ask me, even if I'll try to be as clear as possible with this.
Some of the stories you'll se, about patients and such, are real, taken from my own experience. So you see sometimes reality is worse than fiction.

.~

Ch.1: How did I fall in love with you?

It was early. In fact it was too early. Too early for the alarm to be singing that loudly on a Sunday morning, but apparently weekends do not exist when you work in a hospital. Faith growled and attempted to sink deeper in the mattress, regretting spending the night over at Ryan’s, he was the one working, not her, and yet the alarm was waking her up too.

“Ryan, turn that damn thing off and get up.” She mumbled half asleep. Ryan said nothing and the annoying ringing was shut down. “Get up.” Faith nudged again at feeling Ryan’s arm curl up around her waist, resuming its previous position.

“It’s still early.” Ryan whispered against the bare skin of her shoulder, adding a few kisses that turned into nibbles as he pressed his body closer to hers.

Faith sighed. “Carden’s going to kick your ass if you’re late again.”

“I took precautions this time.” He said with a smirk she didn’t see, his hand slid under her tank top and she rolled over to face him.

“What kind of precautions?” She asked amused.

“What time is it?” He said kissing her neck and her jaw. Faith looked over the clock and noticed it was 7am. Sunday’s shifts started at 9am. “We have time…plenty of time.” He said as he hovered over her and kissed her hard and deep.


A little over an hour later, Ryan was in the shower and Faith was in the kitchen making breakfast. The smell of the coffee was making her sick, in fact every scent present in that kitchen was. It wasn’t weird, for the last few weeks Faith had felt the same morning sickness that prevented her from having anything to eat before lunch. She held her belly and took a deep breath right before Ryan entered the kitchen, and played dumb.

“Morning, again.” He said kissing her cheek and grabbing his coffee mug. “Aren’t you eating?”

“Too early, I just wanna go back to bed.” Faith said rubbing her face.

“Are you feeling okay?” Ryan asked. “You’re pale.”

“It’s 8am on a Sunday and you want me to have some color?” She said turning away from him and took another deep breath before the bile in her stomach decided to burst out.

Ryan shrugged and didn’t ask anything else.

A while later, he was gone to the hospital and Faith sunk back in bed, thinking. She knew what was wrong with her; she was a physician, for fuck’s sake. She didn’t need anyone pointing out the obvious pregnancy symptoms. She actually wondered why Ryan hadn’t noticed already.

Faith clutched her belly again. Being pregnant opened a whole lot of personal dilemmas: all of them having to do with being a single 32 years old woman without a serious relationship. Cause, okay, Ryan was there and he wouldn’t back out of parenthood, right? But what were they?

Nothing.

And everything.

Best friends and confidents. Fuck buddies. Someone who was there when no one else was. When Faith was screwing a married man who all of the sudden decided to have a conscience and two kids with his wife. When Ryan was cheated on by his fiancée only a couple of weeks before their wedding. When both of them obviously still had feelings for their exes. Who else could possibly understand the whole situation? No one, just them. It was a comfort thing and they were perfectly fine with it, why make it complicated with a baby? It was ridiculous.

And there was another… reason… that kept her from telling Ryan. Even if she was a surgeon, someone bound to think and act by facts, she was still a woman driven by her instincts. Faith had learnt to trust her gut when she was still in med school and her OB internship showed her that women’s instincts when it comes to their babies are never wrong. Spencer was an OB and he’d tell her about his supernatural moms every week.
Her gut was talking to her, in a cold and empty language that kept her from even going to the store and get a fucking pregnancy test.

But she had pushed that moment away for too long, 8 weeks was too long and she needed an answer.

It was already afternoon when Faith left Ryan’s house, heading to her own. The detour took less than five minutes and when she arrived to her apartment she ripped the box open. Following the simple instruction and waiting a few minutes, Faith confirmed what she already knew. The test was flashing positive and now she had no excuse.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: NothingRhymesWithFirith,

sounds good please continue

Ch.2: Fix you

Faith stared at the board. She only had one surgery that morning, a 57 years old woman with lung cancer. It should be easy, she said to herself. Just put a tube in her pleura and that’s it. Maybe she should add powder too to prevent the fluids from collapsing the lungs again, or tetracycline. The blood tests weren’t that great, but she would use local anesthesia.

“Why do you always get the easy ones?” Dr. Frank Iero startled her, sipping his black coffee. Faith felt ill at the smell.

“Cause Wentz is an asshole who doesn’t let me do laparoscopies.” She deadpanned, taking a deep breath to shrug the sickness away.

“I’ll trade you mine any day!” Frank chuckled and emptied his cup. He put a hand on her shoulder sympathetically before walking away.

Faith rolled her eyes and went to scrub in. The patient was already in the OR and Dr. Bryar, one of the anesthesiologists, was sleeping her.

“Local, right?” Dr. Bob Bryar asked and Faith nodded.

“Where is my intern?” She asked, looking around the room. And as on cue, William ran inside.

“Sorry, sorry.” He said with a sheepish smile. Faith looked at him blankly. “I got caught up upstairs by Dr. Wentz.”

“Scrub in, Beckett. You’re the only one helping me today.”

“Awesome!” He couldn’t stop himself from saying and went to wash his hands. Faith shook her head and checked on the patient one last time, muttering what she knew by heart and making a mental note of the right spot to put the tube in.

10 minutes later everything was ready and William was happily injecting the lidocaine.

“5th space, mid-axillary line.” He repeated while he infiltrated the anesthetic. Faith looked at him, guiding his hands.

“Okay, skin ready, go for the muscle now.”

William pushed the needle further in, making sure to avoid the intercostal artery. 30 seconds to let the lido work…

“Okay, let’s do this…” Faith said taking a blade. “Get tweezers and help me, Beckett.” The boy did as commanded and separated the skin after Faith cut a hole right between 2 ribs, dissecting skin, fat and muscle till she reached the pleura. “Culture tube…” She asked before poking the pleura with a needle and get a sample. “Okay, pleural tube.”

As soon as the tube was inside the patient’s lung, the fluid started coming out, dark red and thick, as malignant fluids were supposed to be. Faith sighed and told William to start sewing the woman’s wound, to make sure the tube was hermetic and that it wouldn’t move.

That’s when one of the alarms went off.

“What’s wrong?” Faith asked Dr. Bryar, who was checking on the patient’s stats.

“She’s desaturating.” Bob said and Faith saw the numbers that indicated how much blood oxygen the patient had fall from their normal 100% to 80… 70… 60… “I’m intubating.”

The woman’s heart rate started going up making another alarm go off. William froze.

“Beckett, close that wound now.” Faith insisted. She was ready to perform CPR, but if the wound was still open, it could cause the air to get inside her chest making it all worse. With trembling hands, William finished sewing and the nurse put a wet bandage on it, sealing it completely.

“V-taq.” Bob said and Faith started heart compressions.

“Dr. Ashley?” A pale William said. Faith looked at him as he pointed at the tube she had just put in her lung.

“Blood.” She muttered. “The patient is bleeding, Bryar! Beckett, go get Dr. Iero now, he’s in OR 5.”

Easy ones, huh? Faith thought after William ran out of the room.

.~

The drain flasks were almost full when Faith cut the sutures that held the tube inside the woman’s chest and pulled it out. Frank was there, helping her get the patient cleaned up. The vasoactive drugs, the compressions, the adding of 3 liters of saline in record time… everything she did had not been enough. Everything she did couldn’t keep the woman’s lung from collapsing and burst, making her literally bleed to death.

“Thanks, Frank.” Faith said, more in a way of dismissing him than in a grateful one, but Frank knew. He gave her a small smile.

“Don’t let it get you.” He said before snapping his gloves off and left the OR.

“Beckett.” Faith called out to the intern standing beside the computer. “Get the patient’s chart and write what I’m going to tell you.”

What a nice way to start a Monday.

I like this, this is really neat. ^_^ I'm kind of interested in medicine myself, but I'm like... really young? So xP.

You probably don't need characters, but I'm here. ^_^ Although I did spot my name by some chance of luck.

quote:

Originally posted by Time to Dance, RyRo.:
I like this, this is really neat. ^_^ I'm kind of interested in medicine myself, but I'm like... really young? So xP.

You probably don't need characters, but I'm here. ^_^ Although I did spot my name by some chance of luck.

lol, the main character name is Faith Ashley.
xDDD

SWEET! I'll pretend it's meh. xD

Ch.3: Lose Control

“Dr. Ashley?” A nurse trotted behind Faith, but she wasn’t really listening. Actually, her brain was still at home for all she knew. “Dr. Ashley.” The nurse insisted and Faith shook her head.

“I’m sorry. What?”

“I was telling you your surgeries for this afternoon have been reprogrammed.”

Faith raised an eyebrow. “What? Why?”

“Dr. Wentz and Dr. Ross--” The nurse started and Faith rolled her eyes and kept walking, making way to the OR.

“Ash!” Pete Wentz got startled when Faith irrupted into the now empty OR.

“Where is my patient, Wentz?” Faith asked crossing her arms on her chest. Wentz wasn’t alone, but she didn’t think it was necessary to even look at Ryan for the time being.

“4th floor, room 408. Having lunch, if I’m not mistaken.” Ryan deadpanned, not lifting his eyes from the chart he was reading.

“Well, he’s supposed to be here being anesthetized.”

“Well, he’s not.” Wentz added. Faith bit the inside of her cheek, fighting not to hit Pete on the crotch.

“Yeah, I can see that. Now if you could tell me why…”

Ryan got up from his chair and gave Pete a nod, making him leave. Faith stared at him blankly.

“I know what happened this morning.” Ryan started. Faith huffed and looked away, rubbing her face. “We thought it was better--” He tried to continue, but she didn’t let him.

“You have no right to tell me when I should or shouldn’t operate, Ross. Not you, nor Wentz. You had no right to reschedule my surgeries.”

“We do. Wentz is chief whether you like it or not, but if you must know, it was me who told him to do it.”

“That’s just great then.”

“Ash, one of your patients died this morning while you were operating on him. Excuse me for thinking you’re not in the right conditions to have a full board right now.” Faith said nothing and fell on one of the chairs. “Why didn’t you call me?” Ryan said getting close and sitting beside her.

“What for? So you could suspend my procedures earlier?”

“You know what I mean…”

“I just didn’t, okay? You had to work last night and I wasn’t waking you up for this.”

“Well, I would’ve liked being woken up.”

Faith bit her lip and looked at Ryan, a million explanations jumbling in her tongue. The pregnancy, her lack of sleep, her lack of food, her morning sickness and her constant exhaustion, a million reasons why it was her fault the patient died that morning. She started pacing and Ryan followed her.

“Talk to me, please…” Ryan said sweetly, stroking both of her arms. “I know you’re not sleeping lately, nor eating…” Faith opened her mouth to speak, but didn’t know exactly what to say.

“I’ll be fine. I- I’ll just go home and get some sleep, okay?”

“Why don’t you call someone to cover up for you tonight? Hmm?” Ryan suggested, he didn’t want her working after all these. Faith shook her head.

“I said I’ll be fine. I rather be working anyways.” She turned and gave a deep sigh, leaning on the surgery table; Ryan came behind her and hugged her waist, nuzzling her neck.

“You know? I’ve always had this fantasy… in the OR… lean you against the table…” He explained at the same time he kissed her neck softly, making her giggle.

“Are you trying to make me feel better?”

“Whatever works.” Both giggled now, but their moment was interrupted by the nurse of the OR.

“Excuse me. Dr. Wentz is going to make use of this OR since Dr. Ashley’s patients were suspended.” Keltie Colleen spoke, making Ryan jump away from Faith.

“Hi, Keltie…”

“Yeah, whatever the boss wants.” Faith said, rolling her eyes at Ryan. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said to him and left the room.

ICU UPDATE! Win. ^_^

I like this.

Ch.4: Accidentally In Love

Little outbursts of jealousy like that weren’t something unusual in Faith, but this one in particular felt worse. It’s not like she could actually ask Ryan to stop having feelings for Keltie, is not like she could ask for explanations and Ryan would have to give her one. It’s not like she should have fallen for Ryan, even if she didn’t wanna admit it to herself. It’s not like she should be pregnant with his kid either.

Faith had a restless afternoon of half sleeping, half pacing around her apartment. At 7pm it was obvious she wasn’t resting and got in the shower. Her mind wandered scattered between Ryan, the baby, being sick and the patient that died that morning. For a moment, Faith actually considered taking Ryan’s advice and have someone fill in for her that night. She really wasn’t in the mood to work, but it was the only thing that made her stop thinking so much. And besides, Spencer was working too and he was one of the few that could help her.

After a quick bite, she made way to the hospital, getting there little before 8. Faith went to the emergency OR and saw Jon. Dr. Walker shared her shift as the anesthesiologist, and also was Spencer’s boyfriend. This made him basically her brother-in-law.

“Hey, Jon.” She greeted, forcing a smile.

“Good evening, miss Ash.” He said as response. “Everything good?”

“Yeah, how was the day?” She said walking into the little resting room the OR had.

“Quiet. As any other Monday.” Jon said falling on one of the couches as Faith straddled a bench. “Wentz closed up the last patient like half an hour ago and apparently there’s nothing left to operate.”

“Great.” Faith said rubbing her face. “I’ll send my intern to check with Way if there’s anything else to evaluate.”

Jon was about to say something when a thin shadow on the door made him stop and said something else. “I’ll go check on Spencer, he said he’d probably have to make a c-section and hasn’t called me back.” Jon stood up and headed for the door at the same time Faith looked up.

“Hi.” Ryan was there, leaning on the frame.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at home now?” Faith said, a little smile appearing on her lips.

Ryan straddled the same bench in front of her and held her hands, leaning his forehead on hers, looking into her eyes. Faith raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Look, about earlier…” Ryan started.

“What happened earlier?” Faith asked confused.

“With Keltie, in the OR. I didn’t mean--”

“Okay, stop. You don’t have to apologize.” Faith said pulling away, only Ryan gripped her hands and kept her in place.

“I know I don’t. But I want to.” He said biting his lip. He wanted to say so much more, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. “Besides, I know you got upset.” He added with a half smile.

Faith chuckled. “Everything was upsetting me.” She lied. Or maybe not, but she was denying the fact it had bothered her way too much. Ryan shook his head.

“Doesn’t matter if it did. I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted then.” Faith said and Ryan sighed, leaning his forehead on hers again.

He swallowed down everything else he wanted to say, make her understand why he was apologizing. Explain why he stayed 2 hours after his last procedure just to talk to her. But he didn’t. Instead, gripped her hands and pulled her a little closer, kissing her lips lightly. Faith smiled and kissed him back.

“Breakfast tomorrow?” He whispered.

“If you’re buying…” Faith said, closing her eyes and biting her lip.

“I’ll bring you a muffin.”

“Chocolate?”

“Sure.”

Both giggled. Ryan lifted Faith’s chin and kissed her again, thankful of being left alone in the small room. The day shift was leaving as the night shift was arriving, so they would be pretty much ignored for the next five minutes. It’s not like they were a secret, everyone knew about them, but it wasn’t very professional to go around the hospital making out.

“Dr. Ashley?” William interrupted their moment, blushing at realizing and stuttering an apology.

Faith smiled as Ryan looked down. “You already interrupted, Beckett. What is it?”

“Dr. Way was asking for you.”

“I’ll be right out.” Faith said and William trotted off without being said to. Ryan tensed up.

“Will you ever stop having to work with him every Monday?” He asked quietly.

“Why should I?” Faith watched Ryan bite the inside of his cheek and shrug.

“I don’t know. Given your background I don’t think is healthy.”

“Mikey and I manage.” She answered simply. Even if she knew Ryan was kind of right.

She and Dr. Michael Way shared a story that included a serious relationship that lasted over 2 years and never really ended. Almost 5 years after their break-up they were still sleeping together, even if Michael was married now. There were still moments of weakness when he’d come up with something to tell his wife and would get lost with Faith instead. Everything had stopped abruptly a couple of months ago though, when he found out his wife was pregnant with twins.

Faith acted like she didn’t care, but Ryan knew it would take only a few words from Mikey to have her back. And that scared the shit out of him. That’s why he had asked her to switch days with anyone, but she refused and Ryan didn’t push.

“I’ll let you get to work, then.” Ryan said hiding the bitterness in his voice.

“I’ll be waiting for my muffin tomorrow.” She chuckled, pecking his lips before standing up.

Ryan smiled and gave her a small nod before getting up himself. “I won’t forget.”


Faith clutched her stomach watching Ryan leave. Part of her wanted to stop him and tell him everything, so he could be there with her… but what for? If her suspicions were correct-- No, she shouldn’t be thinking about it now. First she had to talk to Spencer, get the ultrasound and then worry about what to tell Ryan, if anything at all.

Trudging to the ER, William appeared again, blushing slightly and not looking at her while he made a short list of the patients that needed surgical evaluation. Faith thought it was amusing, but the stuttering was getting on her nerves.

“Stop it.” She said and William stood there blinking. “Did you check on the patients?”

“Yes. All four of them. One of them could be discharged, two have to be moved to the 4th floor and I wanted to ask you about the forth one…”

“Sing…” Faith walked to the little exam room while William told her about the patient. An 87 years old woman with an acute arterial ischemia affecting her left leg. She should have been operated the day before, but she wasn’t. Why? That was the question William had. Faith found the answer written on the chart, with the spidery characters of Ryan’s handwriting. The family of the patient didn’t wanna make her go through surgery.

This is what you get when you get old, no one wants to do a thing for you. Faith thought as she pointed out the chart to William, telling him to write the new meds the patient should get and making a note for the nurse to contact the family. If they were rejecting the surgery they could very well take the lady back home and have her die there.

“There’s nothing worse than dying in a hospital.” William muttered and Faith could do more than agree. She had seen enough of it too.

just found these and I LOVE THEM

please update

pretty please

Ch.5: Secret

Sitting on the doctor’s lounge, Faith started thinking about the pregnancy again. She was free for the time being and the US would only take a couple of minutes.

“Good evening. I didn’t see you down there…” Mikey’s voice snapped Faith out of her head.

“Hi.” She gave him a small smile. Mikey looked at her funny. “What?”

“Are you okay?” He said, staring at her like he could read her. And he could, which was the worse part.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” He stated and sat to the table nursing a coffee.

“Fine, then I’m not. Why do you even ask?” Faith said with a chuckle. Mikey smirked that knowing smirk she had learned to hate.

“You’re pregnant.” He stated again. Faith’s eyes went wide open. “Haven’t you heard about the pregnancy aura? I live with it.” He said, sipping his coffee. “What did Ryan say?”

“Haven’t told him.” Faith crossed her arms on her chest, feeling suddenly cold and exposed. There weren’t words to explain how much she hated Mikey when he did that.

“I see.” Mikey said and didn’t ask anything else.

Faith stood up. “Page me if you need me.”

Yeah, it was a really good time to check with Spencer now.

.~

Dr. Spencer Smith was washing his hands when the OB nurse told him the newborn stats. Even when the c-section was extremely urgent, the baby was alive and so far it would make it. The PICU had already a crib for the newborn and it would be taken up any minute now. It made Spencer smile. He hated to start his night shifts with bad news. He informed the nurse he’d be taking a bite in his room and she should call him if she had any emergency.

When he got in, he realized he had company.

“Faith! Good evening…” He said in his merry way and sat on the table.

“Night, Spence. How’s work so far? Walker told me you had an emergency surgery.”

“Yeah, a premature with a nasty maternal sepsis… I had to perform a c-section, but baby and mom are fine now.”

“Great.” Faith said with no real emotion. And Spencer knew her too well.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, leaving his sandwich back on the table.

“I need to ask you a favor, Spence.” She said without looking up. “I’m pregnant.” She confessed and Spencer froze. “I need you to make me an ultrasound.”

“Y-yeah sure…”

“But that’s not the favor.” This time she looked at him with pleading eyes.

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t want Ryan to know.” Faith faced down again and took a deep breath. She hated hiding this from Ryan, but if her suspicions were correct, there was no point in telling him either.

“Faith, I think he deserves---”

“I have a really bad feeling about this, Spencer. It doesn’t feel…right.”

“Oh.” Spencer stopped cold again. It wasn’t the first time that some mom told him something similar and they were always right.

“That’s why I need the ultrasound and that’s why I’m asking you to do it.” Faith bit her lip and clutched her belly unconsciously. Spencer looked at her and stood up.

“C’mon, the US is free and the nurse won’t bother me for a while.”

Faith’s palms were sweating when the got to the US room and her hands were shaking uncontrollably as she stripped down her clothes and wrapped on the sheet that Spencer offered. Neither of them spoke while the machine fired up.

“How long-” Spencer asked.

“8 weeks and 4 days.” Faith interrupted getting more nervous by the second; Spencer nodded and entered her name and such to the computer. Then he got to work.

Faith closed her eyes at the cold feeling of the US gel in her insides and flinched a little, averting her eyes from the screen. Spencer moved the transducer around as the minutes stretched out. Faith only wanted an answer and got it when Spencer sighed.

“You’re right.”

“What?” Faith gulped.

“It’s hollow. It’s a blighted ovum.”

.~

Back in the OB lounge with Spencer, Faith stared at the US pic in her hand. The empty membrane where a 1 inch embryo should be and wasn’t. She didn’t know how to feel about that… Relieved? Sad? Scared? All of the above? Cause that’s how it felt anyways. For a moment she had actually played with the chance of becoming a mom. A single mom if she had to, there was no problem in that either. She could easily sustain her kid alone, sacrificing a few working hours… but that wasn’t the case. There was no baby and she wouldn’t have to worry about telling Ryan, giving up night shifts and get a bigger apartment.

Neither of them spoke for what it felt like a long time. Faith was chewing on her lip, thinking and Spencer just waited for her to talk.

“Get it out.” Faith finally said.

“What you mean?”

“Get it off me.” Faith said again, this time looking at Spencer blankly.

“You mean a D&C?” Spencer asked and Faith nodded. “Faith, you know--”

“I know how it works, Spencer. Wait till the 12th week for it to come out by itself and blahblah.” She sighed and rubbed her face. “I need it out of me.”

“Okay. When?” Spencer crossed his arms, wanting to hear how Faith expected to do it without Ryan finding out. A dilation & curettage meant checking in for at least a day.

“This Saturday, in your clinic. Ryan is working, so you can keep me all day there on observation.”

“What about Sunday? We’re working this week.”

“Yeah, and I’ll be here and so will you. If anything happens, I’ll just have to run down the hall and let you know.”

It always had surprised Spencer how Faith could remain so unmoved by situations, having such cool logic all the time. It came to him that it was part of her surgeon training. Apparently, they could turn you into a robot.

.~

Alone in the doctor’s lounge, Faith kept staring at the US pic. Now she felt really sick and wanted to go home.

“You look like crap.” Mikey interrupted her silence again.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” She said standing up to make herself a cup of coffee.

“May I ask why?” Mikey said quietly after she sat on the table. Faith looked at him, knowing he was resuming their previous conversation. She pulled the US pic from her pocket.

“Do these explain it?”

Mikey looked at them and nodded, giving her the pics back.

“Hope you keep it quiet though.”

“Yeah, let’s add it to the vast amount of secrets we share.” He said somewhat sarcastically.



.~
You ask and I shall deliver.

awwwww that sooo sad. Poor faith

please continue i really do love it

*is still sitting on the edge of her chair with a box of tissues next to her*

will i need the tissues