Written by me and my friend Kris.
She plays herself and Ryan.
I play myself and Brendon.
This started as a one shot cause we needed a Panic porn, and it grew on itself.

On this chapter:
Firith's POV is white
Kris' POV is pink

Join our fiction site FUELED BY FICTION!!


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Ch 1: I Guess This Must Be Infatuation


"Sit the fuck down!" Kris told me for the millionth time, but I couldn't. The show was over and the guys had little more than 30 mins to get ready to their meet and greet. May I add, the first meet and greet I was putting together since my boss, the actual tour manager, was sick. As his assistant pretty much all I did was getting the guys on time and fill up paper work, but now, I was in charge of a whole thing myself! I ignored Kris and kept picking my nails and pacing.
Spencer and Jon were already next door getting out of their stage costumes, but as far as I knew, Ryan and Brendon were MIA. "They'll be here soon, is not like Bren-Bren to miss his public." Kris said.

"I know, but I want this to be perfect..." I said staring down at my sidekick.

"Why don't you page him?" Kris asked, me knowing who that him was.

"I can't and you know it." I mumbled.

"C'mon!!" She rolled her eyes at me. "Is not like you're sending love messages!"

"Kris!" I whined. "You know it embarrasses me to even look at the guy! I'm so fucking obvious..."

"You're not! Besides, the way you usually treat him, I'm sure he's convinced you hate him." She spoke softly and picked a few cookies from the table.

"And why don't you page Bren-Bren??" I smirked, making airquotes at the nickname she had for Brendon. She rolled her eyes again.

"Cause is not my job!"

"Whore!!" I slapped her arm playfully as we both laughed. I sighed, taking a gulp from a coke can and paging Brendon. But after the 3rd try, it was obvious he wasn't picking up. "Dammit. They're not answering. I'll have to go get them." I said with a groan.

"Good luck!" Was the last thing I heard before venturing off the catwalk looking for the guys.



I sighed again as I waited for Firith to return with both boys, playing with my own phone, checking for responses that weren’t there. I knew I couldn’t continue to just sit there, so I got up to make sure Jon and Spencer were okay.

“Is everything going well you guys? Do you need anything?” I asked, looking from guy to guy.
Jon shook his head. “No thanks Krissy. We’re fine.”

“But you have no idea where Bren and Ryan are?” I asked hopefully.

“I swear I thought they were right behind us.” Spencer said, looking quite puzzled. I wasn’t going to get anywhere drilling those two, and Firith still hadn’t returned. I decided I was going to have to conduct a little search of my own.
Sighing, I told Spence and Jon thanks, and headed off in the same direction I saw Firith head off in.



Roaming around the catwalks, all I did was mumble curses at my luck. Why today of all days they choose to disappear? I sighed and hit my head on the wall, right beside a door I hadn't noticed in my preview walks there. A little whine heard from inside caught my attention and made me rise an eyebrow. Blame it on my curiosity, but I stuck my ear to said door in an instant.

"Mmm... I know, but the meet and greet..." Someone said in a whisper.

"Shhh. Well, we'll have to do it fast, won't we?" Oh my fucking fuck, that was definitively Brendon's voice. My jaw dropped open and I scooted even closer to the door.

"Brendon..." The other person said followed my a soft moan from what I was most certain it was another guy. "Firith has paged you 3 times now."

That's when I felt like choking: that was Ryan!

"Don't talk about her now, it makes me jealous." I heard Brendon say.

I stood outside the door in pure disbelief with my ear still stuck to the door. I looked down at the door knob, part of me wanting to watch, part of me wanting to interrupt and a big part of me just wanting to yell at them for more than one reason. So I did open the door slowly, taking a peek inside, catching the boys without shirts. Brendon pinning Ryan to the wall, both kissing heatedly. I watched Brendon's hands trace Ryan's pale skin down to his tight pants and undo the buttons one by one.

Dammit! By now I just wanted to bring a chair and some popcorn! But the show didn't last that long, as Ryan suddenly opened his eyes and looked at the door, where I was standing with my eyes fixed on the view. At noticing me, he pushed Brendon away, making him snap his head to my position.

"Well, well, well... what do we have here?" Brendon sneered.

"I--I was-- I mean--" I just babbled and stammered with my mind completely blank. And a smirk appeared slowly on Brendon's face, as he looked back at a frozen Ryan.

Brendon walked to me and took my hand, pulling me into the little room and closing the door again.

"Since you're here and I know Ryan won't mind... why don't you join us?"

The same smirk crawled on Ryan and my face right before Brendon pulled my shirt over my head.



I kept walking through the back halls of the venue, roaming and coming up with nothing. Just as I was about to give up, I heard a feminine giggle coming from nearby. I’d spent enough time with Firith to recognize her laugh, whenever she did laugh, that is. So I knew it was her.
Cocking my head sideways, I moved swiftly in the direction of the giggle.
Pressing my hand to the handle of a thin, wooden door, I pushed it open slightly. What I saw made me blush. Ryan and Brendon were in there, TOGETHER, with Firith. And all three of them were topless. Ryan’s shaky hands were caressing her shoulders and playing with her hair while Brendon massaged her back, fiddling with the hooks on her bra.
The boys glanced up at each other and smiled, their lips meeting over her shoulder. I watched in amazement as Brendon’s plush lips covered Ryan’s thin ones, and lingered there. Ryan smiled and turned his head slightly and I could just picture their tongues mingling and swirling around each other’s mouths.
I’d never seen two guys kissing right in front of me before, and it was giving me a weird butterfly feeling in the pit of my belly.
Ryan pulled back and brushed his lips against Brendon’s again before smiling at Firith.

“Go ahead. Kiss her. You KNOW you want to...” Bren smirked.

My eyes widened as Ryan moved forward and kissed Firith gently. She sighed into the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck, tonguing him painfully slow.
Brendon unhooked her bra and slid it down her shoulders, running his fingertips across her nipples.
That lucky bitch.
He moved closer and attacked her neck with those luscious lips sucking gently, and making me gasp lightly, wishing it was me.

Oh fuck. They heard me.
Or at least Brendon did. He glanced up and smirked, raising up and edging close to me. I held my breath until he kissed me lightly, barely pecking my lips. I closed my eyes and just about died. Until he uttered his next words.

“Come on, join the party...” He pulled my inside by the hand as he spoke softly, closing the door again with his foot.

All thought about the meet and greet were pushed to the back of my mind. Hell, if they weren’t worried, why should I be? Right? Besides, chances like this don’t come often.

“Ryan, say hi to Kris.” He smiled, caressing Firith’s cheek with the back of his hand as we joined them. Ryan gazed up and smiled, leaning forward and kissing my lips. His kiss was a little harder, a little rougher than Brendon’s, but it was still nice. We broke apart and he whispered a soft, “Hi.”

I replied the same and caught sight of Brendon exploring Firith’s mouth with his tongue.



Oh fuck... that's all that was going through my head at the moment. I barely noticed when Kris came in as I was so lost in kissing Ryan. I couldn't hold a sigh when he pulled away to kiss Kris and I nearly pouted if it wasn't for Brendon, who placed his lips to mine and kissed me. I couldn't resist sucking that yummy lower lip of his into my mouth, nibbling on it, making him giggle and pull away.
He and Ryan locked eyes and mouths again briefly, before Brendon pulled Kris near and got her shirt and bra tossed to the floor in a second. And well, Kris wasn't putting resistance at all! I would have laughed at her too, if it wasn't for a pair of shaky hands covering my breasts and teasing my hard nipples, making me moan instead. I looked at Ryan as he lowered his lips to my neck, sucking slightly.
I threaded his hair in my fingers and stumbled back a bit, hitting the wall. Ryan brought his lips to mine and kissed me hungrily, pressing me against the concrete. One of his hands still on my breast and the other grazing my hip. I whimpered on his mouth, tracing my fingers down his back and caressing the inside of his pants, already loosened by Brendon earlier. I smiled at noticing the lack of underwear.

Ryan kissed down my neck again, trailing to my breast, flicking his tongue over my nipple and taking it into his mouth. Then he paid the same attentions to the other one. I bit my lip trying to suppress the moan caught in my throat and at the same time I opened my eyes and saw Kris and Brendon locked in a heated kiss, hands all over each other and she walking him to the nearby couch.



I couldn’t help breathing hard and heavy as Bren flicked my earlobe with the tip of his tongue. I tried to stop thinking so hard about what was happening and just go with it, trying desperately to think of him just as a guy, and not my boss. He brought his lips back to mine and I moaned into his kiss, which was hot, slow, and deliberate as his hands cupped and kneaded my breasts.
Nearby, Ryan had Firith moaning and I held back a giggle because I knew how much she was enjoying it. I watched his teasing and tasting her until I felt Bren drop his head to my chest. I whimpered as he pushed my body back, making me arch high before closing his lips around one stiff, aching nipple. I slid my hands down his chest and stomach, stopping right at his navel, deciding if I should continue.
‘Oh fuck it’... I thought and moved from his touch. Brendon reached for me as I raised away and smirked, pushing him back against the couch and sliding in between his legs.
I unzipped his jeans and pushed them down his hips, my hand shaking with anticipation as it went down inside, snaking around his warm, stiff cock.
It was his turn to moan then, his hips bucking under my mercy.

“You’ve been naughty boy Brennie...” I whispered, stroking him painfully slow. His panting got louder as I worked him up

“Have I?” He managed to choke.

“Yes. We’ve been looking for you, both of you. And now you’re going to make it up to us.” I pulled back and withdrew my hand, making him groan in protest.

“H-h-how?”

I straddled his lap and pressed our lips together again. He kissed me hungrily, grinding against me so hard I was bouncing in his lap.

“Well, I don’t know about Firith, but I want to see what you were doing before we found you... I think I have an idea... and that makes me all hot.” I said , leaning forward, pressing my bare breasts to his chest and glancing sideways to my horny friend.



I moaned helplessly as Ryan's hands worked all over my body, his mouth attached to my neck, sucking and biting with a little more confidence than before, his hips pressed hard against mine. We kissed once again as his fingers worked frantically at undoing my jeans, sneaking inside and teasing me slowly. I took the back of his head and kissed him even harder, feeling right about to explode. I couldn't hold back any longer and I too made my way into his jeans, wrapping my hand on his throbbing dick. Ryan whimpered and thrusted into my grasp, both so lost into the moment that I didn't notice someone was close to us till my hand was being replaced.
I opened my eyes to see Brendon standing behind Ryan, planting small kisses and sucks on the back of his neck. Ryan threw his head back on Brendon's shoulder and they kissed again, Ryan's hands leaving my body.
I leaned against the wall panting and staring at the guys pretty much how I had found them, Brendon turned Ryan around and pushed him against the wall by my side, but this time my presence didn't stop him.

Ryan's pants were soon enough around his ankles and Brendon was on his knees, flicking his tongue over the other boy's cock, wrapping his full lips on it and sucking painfully slow. Ryan threaded Brendon's hair, tugging at it slightly as his head hit the wall with a thud.

"Fuck... Brendon!" Ryan breathed out, thrusting his hips into his friend's mouth, reaching deeper inside his throat. And Brendon took it all like a pro.

It really made me wonder how long have they been doing this. But this was no time to question these things. I looked over at Kris and her lustful stare on the boys, I couldn't help but giggle, knowing full well how turned on she was.

I know... cause I was feeling the same thing.



My chest heaved as I watched Brendon working on the head of Ryan’s dick, pulling and licking… Sucking him way in and pulling back off of him. Brendon circled the tip and sucked it, gaining a few sharp hisses from Ryan. I bit my bottom lip and crawled around on wobbly legs to get a better look, smiling deviously at Firith before sitting back on my knees to enjoy the show. Ryan was moaning and tugging at Brendon’s hair, but the slick sounds of his lips and tongue working on Ryan’s hard flesh was the only sound that I heard echoing in my ears. I never, ever, thought I’d be so turned on by manlove in my entire life, yet here I was, watching the man I desired sucking of his best friend.
And I liked it.
Unable to stand not being included any longer, I approached Brendon and pressed my front to his back, gently sucking his neck, and fingering his cock. He shuddered and Ryan moaned loudly.

I glared at him playfully and looked over to Firith, who was watching in sheer amazement. “He’s too loud honey, maybe you should shut him up.” I told her with a grin.

Brendon grinned and accommodated, pulling Ryan down to his level. They kissed again, a wet, sloppy kiss, and Bren shoved Ryan down to the floor on his back. They grinned at each other, parting with a softer kiss before Bren made his way back down Ryan’s thighs, leaving a wet trail until he was once again swallowing his dick. I helped Brendon out of his pants, flinging them across the room and taking him back into my hands, jerking him up and down slowly.
Firith made her way to the pile of flesh on the floor from her place on the wall nervously, but Ryan’s stare seemed to console her. She leaned down to kiss him, and he whispered something I couldn’t hear before cupping her ass, and adjusting her body to straddle his chest, her aching need hovering over his mouth.



My mind was blank and my body was on autopilot as I straddled Ryan's face. None of this made any sense at all but honestly, I could care less at that point. I was aching for a release as much as I was aching for him to touch me in any possible way, even when he was being mouth fucked by his best friend. I stared down at Ryan as his tongue made its way to my slit, licking from beginning to end, flicking over my pulsating clit, making me groan and bite my lip to keep it down. His hands gripped my hips to prevent me from moving and I steadied myself on the wall infront of me. Ryan's slurping sounds mixed with Brendon's ones, the room soon filled with them and my choked gasping.

I shut my eyes hard, feeling my body starting to tremble as the familiar raising in my stomach made its way thoughout all my body. I dug my fingers on the wall and sank my teeth into my lip as a heat wave washed over me, causing me to shake and pant with my mouth open, orgasming into Ryan's greedy tongue. I leaned on the wall watching him reach his peak a few seconds later and got off him, lying on the floor and kissing him deeply, tasting myself on his lips.

Ryan wrapped his arms around me, caressing the back of my neck, pulling my even closer to him. I kissed down his neck, licking the salty flavor of his damp skin when a giggle from him made me look up.

Brendon must have something with sex against the wall, cause first was Ryan and now it was Kris the pinned one being ravashed.



The rest of my clothes were removed so fast, my mind was still swirling. All I felt now was the heat of Brendon’s breath against my skin as he sucked my nipples hard, turning them into hard peaks of aching flesh while he rubbed his index finger against my clit. I sighed and rocked my body against his hand, stroking the nape of his neck before he reclaimed my lips. We fought for control, his sucking at my bottom lip, and my gentle nibbling of his. I moaned, sucking his tongue and catching the tangy taste of Ryan’s release. Words couldn’t even express all the ways my body wanted him.
Brendon hooked his arms under my leg, making me whine from the loss of contact of his mouth, and pressed my back against the wall. He smirked at me as he rubbed at my entrance, guiding my legs around his waist tightly.
We smiled at each other, me a little shier than him, foreheads touching, but I groaned deeply as he entered, filling me completely.
I called out his name as he began to pound into me relentlessly, and the back of my head was bouncing against the damn wall, but I didn’t really give a shit. I don’t think anything else would have mattered much in that moment. It felt that good.
He growled when he gripped my ass, pulling me up and down on his cock hard, making my belly quiver. I buried my face in his neck, biting down gently as a white hot sensation shot through me, making my insides clench around him. My orgasm shook me to the core, but he hadn’t finished yet. Suddenly it was just he and I in the room as I squeezed and worked for his peak.
I moaned, when I felt him stiffen. He whimpered and came deep inside me, and we both collapsed to the floor engaged in another heated kiss.



As Kris was pounded wildly against the wall, Ryan and I kept making out on the floor, me caressing his hair and he tracing my back. But as much as I was enjoying this, there was things to get done outside that room, so I pulled away and looked at him.

"You have to leave..." I whispered, peeking his lips again.

"I know... I'm sorry..." He said with a sigh, caressing my cheek with his thumb.

I sat up and reached for the pile of clothes, handing Ryan his outfit and pulling my own on me. I was fully dressed when I turned to the wall again, seeing Kris and Brendon caught in their after sex glow.

"Sorry, guys, but we really have to go." I said. Brendon pulled away and started dressing, leaving a limp Kris with a silly look on her face leaned on the wall trying to support herself on wobbly legs. I shook my head and handed Kris her clothes.

I turned to the door and I felt my stomach flinch and twist at the sight of the boys kissing sweetly. Leave it to me to feel all awkward and stupid after the mind blowing sex, just cause I had feelings mixed in between.
I checked the time on my sidekick and we were only 5 mins late.

"C'mon, people..." I said looking at Kris who was already dressed and then down to the floor as I made my way our of that room, followed by the soft sound of the guys chatting behind. I knew Ryan was staring at me, but I just couldn't bring myself to look at him.



With my head still spinning, I followed Firith out of the little sex den we’d created, straightening my clothes and hair. Looking at her, I knew I wasn’t the only one feeling a little awkward, but I also knew I had to act like nothing at all was the matter. Even if that meant watching Ryan and Brendon, huddled together and giggling like a couple of school girls, like this was something they did every day. Firith pulled her sidekick from the loop of her jeans and typed a quick message.

“Have to give a heads up to security.” She explained, but only looked at me.

I sighed and nodded as we made our way back out front.

“Hey,” I smiled to a waiting Jon and Spencer, “Look who we found.” Ryan and Bren passed us without a word and sat in their places with their chattering band mates. I bit my lip and turned, grabbing four bottled waters from the big cooler at my feet and set them in front of each guy. After doing this, I went back to my wall, leaning against it, and looking over to Firith, who stood stone faced.

I sighed and glanced into the crowd of hyperactive girls, wondering what would happen next.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: NothingRhymesWithFirith,

Woah. That. was. AMAZING. doode, you HAVE to write more

Join our fiction site FUELED BY FICTION!!

In this ch:
Ryan’s POV is black
Brendon’s POV is yellow

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Ch2. If it's only a fantasy, then why is it killing me?


After the meet and greet, we all trudged onto the bus. I buried myself inside my bunk so I could be alone, but mostly it was to think about what had just happened at the venue.
Fuck, I’m an idiot.

The look on Firith’s face when we’d finished… I thought she hated me. I should have gotten the hint when she follows Bren’s command to join us so easily. Now she just looked confused. And I was hiding because I was just as confused as she was, maybe more. What Brendon and I had, it was good. There’s no one who gets me like him, and we’re the closest of friends, I guess it just came naturally to have him as my lover. But things were getting so complicated. Sighing, I fell back onto my pillows and covering my face.

I heard the girls talking, their voices muffled, and I knew they were together in Kris’ nearby bunk. I strained to hear what they were talking, knowing full well that it was Brendon and I, but I just couldn’t make it out. I hadn’t meant to act like what happened didn’t mean anything to me, but it was just so weird.

I realized I couldn’t let Firith think I did and went to step out of bed, when Bren hopped in.



"Hey you..." I said softly lying beside Ryan with a smile, he wasn't so smiley though. "Why the long face?" I asked stroking his face softly.

"I don't know..." Ryan sighed, lying back on the pillows. "I can't stop thinking that I made a mistake."

"Pfft! Mistake? We just boned 2 hot girls and you're getting all emo on it?" I said amused and he rolled his eyes at me.

"Two girls who work for us and that we have to see everyday. I didn't... I didn't want her...them to think I did that a lot." I watched him look away and sighed, petting his hair.

"You're still crushing on her, aren't you?"

"I thought she hated me. And then this..." He shrugged looking sad.

"Aawww, baby..." I said, hugging him close. "Oh well, I guess part of this is my fault too: I invited her in."

"I'm confused, Bren..." Ryan spoke quietly, fidgeting with his fingers. "And it isn't going to be easy getting back to normal."

"Girls are a fucking headache. We better put this little episode behind us, don't you think?" I said trying to calm him down, cupping his face. But he just looked back at me biting his lip.

"I don't know if I can..." Damn his insecurity. I raised an eyebrow and smiled again.

"You'll make it... is not as hard as it looks. Besides, we'll still have each other, as corny as that sounds." I hugged him close again leaning down to kiss him. Normally we'd lay there and make out for a while, but now, he just let our lips meet briefly and as soon as the girls giggled, he pulled away nervously. I groaned and rolled over my back. "Fine, I'll let you think this over."

I made my way out of his bunk and to the front of the bus, getting my regular Red-bull and lying on the couch to watch some random TV movie Jon was watching. But my thoughts were still with the boy back there. We were friends, best friends, relationship that evolved naturally to what we were now. Though we couldn't get it a proper name. The thing is we made each other happy.

I wonder if she could do the same...



I sighed again after he was gone. I swear Brendon was just as exhausting ad confusing as any girl I’d ever been with. Partly because I think he’s just as confused as me. Ok, maybe a little less. Getting comfy on my pillow, and suddenly feeling very lonely, I turned to my side and just lie there. I needed to talk to her. Hopefully she’d want to talk to me too.

A good few hours passed by. And the motion of the bus along with being just plain tired had lulled me to sleep. I was woken up by someone cursing after dropping something loudly on the table up front. Staggering, I got up and went to the bathroom, then headed into the front lounge, where I saw her sitting there. Laptop in front of her at the table, nursing coke can and totally oblivious to my presence.

I stood there watching her, ready to chicken out and crawl back into my fortress before she saw me. I heard Jon in the back lounge, laughing and talking. To his girlfriend of course, and I felt a pang of jealousy rip through me. Not that I wasn’t happy with Bren, but maybe being with him wasn’t exactly what I wanted… The thought frightened me beyond belief. I knew Brendon was a manwhore, but he was also my best friend, which made what we had amazing. I just didn’t know if I wanted to risk being hurt again.
With another sigh, I went to turn on my heel when I felt her eyes boring into the back of my head.

“You need something?” She asked me in a sleepy voice, rubbing at her eyes. I turned slowly to face her, biting and licking my lip. She looked unhappy. That’s when I knew, I wanted to try and make her smile.



I was fairly asleep when a loud crash made me jump awake and hit my head on the upper bunk. I cursed silently, rubbing the sore spot and burying my head back in the pillow, lying there till it was obvious I wasn't sleeping any longer. Ryan's soft steps made their way to the front of the bus and I couldn't help but peek my head out of the curtain just to see him stuck at the entrance of the front lounge. I sighed and rolled my eyes at him, betting my head he'd chicken out before talking to Firith.

I wondered if I should go there and save him myself, but as I rolled out of my bunk I collided with no other than Kris. I smirked.

"Well, hello there, miss..."

"Hi..." She said back with an awkward smile. "Do you need something while I'm up?"

"No... I can get myself to the kitchen." I smiled sweetly to her again. "Now if you join me..." I suggested looking into her eyes, putting my best innocent face. Kris chuckled and looked away for a moment, then back at me.

"Lead the way..." I smirked and grabbed her hand lightly, walking her to the front. The low murmur coming from the table halted as we passed besides Ryan and Firith. I ignored it and opened the minifridge.

"Want anything?" I asked Kris who looked over at the couple.

"Um, yeah, a coke." I got my red bull and a coke for her, smiling sweetly as I handed it to her.

"Here you go... " After she took the can from me, I fell on the couch. She hesitated before sitting awkwardly by my side.

"So, you wanted to talk to me?"

"Well, actually yeah. I think is better if we talk about it." I said, shooting a glance at Ryan who was facing the table and Firith who was looking away. Both of them aware of what I was saying. "I mean... I don't want you to feel weird for what happened, you know?"

"Okay..." Kris chuckled and glanced at Ryan. "I think I get it. And besides, there's no harm in a little fun, right?" It was her turn to smirk now. I knew there was something I really liked about this girl.

"No harm at all, honey." I said gulping down my drink. "Maybe some people should be reminded of that." I saw Ryan flinch slightly at my words, but I focused on Kris, tracing her arm with my finger. "So... no awkwardness?"

"No... no awkwardness." She answered with a bright smile that I mimicked.

This was going good. I got a chick and my boy. Call me greedy, but to me, that's as good as it gets.



I tried my best to ignore Brendon, who was so obviously flirting. Maybe even for my benefit. Instead I tried to focus on talking to Firith, who sat uncomfortable in front of me. It took me minutes to concentrate hard enough to figure out what to say to her. Mostly because I didn’t want to sound like some blubbering idiot, and partly because I didn’t want her to bite my head off. After another moment of watching Brendon molest Kris’ arms, I cleared my throat and licked my lips.

“Are you…are you okay?” I asked, for lack of anything else to begin our conversation with.

She looked at me, bit her lip, and finally answered, “Yeah…” Pause. “You?”

I pressed my lips together hard and shook my head. I was the farthest thing from okay. “I wanted to say something to you… Firith, I don’t want you thinking… I don’t know, “ I sighed. “I just don’t do that sort of thing a lot.”

Still looking at me, she cleared her throat. “What exactly? Sneaking around with Brendon? Or inviting random girls to join you?”

I flinched at her words and sighed again, glancing out of the window. “Okay, maybe this was a bad idea. But no, I don’t invite random girls to have sex with me and my best friend, and you aren’t random.” I lowered my voice before continuing. “And with Bren… It’s complicated.” I admitted it without really admitting it. She nodded in understanding.

“How long…” she stopped and shook her head. “No, I don’t wanna know.” She sighed and went back to clicking the keys of her laptop.

“This isn’t easy for me either, you know? I thought you hated me.” I looked up at her and back down again, holding my breath for her reaction.

“I don’t hate you, Ryan. Far from it actually, but-- you’re with Brendon.” She answered quietly, making my heart flutter. I looked over to the charming little manwhore who was chatting happily with Kris. And he didn’t seem too worried about me.

“Does Brendon look like he’s attached to anyone?” I asked, nodding in their direction. “It’s just… complicated.”

Firith looked over towards Brendon, following my eyes and whispered, “Still makes you… You know… Gay.”

I groaned. I wasn’t gay. In fact, I really didn’t know what I was.

“I’m not…” I paused, and lowered my voice tone even lower. “Tell me, did it feel like you were with a gay guy when you were with me? And…” I trailed off, taking a deep breath to try and gain the courage to do what I told myself I was going to do. I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers, kissing her sweetly and tenderly, then pulled back to whisper against her lips. “Do I kiss you like a gay guy?”

She froze and began to stammer. “N-no..”

It was cute. And here I was thinking I was the only nervous wreck… She stared at my lips, biting down on her own and I caught Brendon out of the corner of my eye watching us with a raised eyebrow just before I kissed her softly again.



Kris and I stared at the other couple sharing that gentle kiss. I pressed my lips together, feeling an uncomfortable twitch at the pit of my stomach. For some reason, I had to stop what was happening in front of me. So I stood up and grabbed Ryan's shoulder and pulled him away from Firith, taking him to the back of the bus.

"Bren, what do you think you're doing?" He said snatching himself from my grasp and giving me a funny look.

"Okay, what was that?" I asked crossing my arms, probably looking like a jealous girlfriend.

"What do you mean what was it? It was a kiss..." Ryan scratched his head as his words trailed off, looking away. I stared at him.

"So you're like, going to be with her now?" I tried to keep my volume as low as possible.

"I--" Blink. "I don't know what's going to happen Bren." He sighed before speaking again quietly. "You knew I liked her before..." It was my turn to sigh as I rubbed my face.

"What about us, then, Ryan?" I stared at him again. "If it was ever an us." I knew there never was quite an us as a couple. But I still had to ask.

"...I didn't realize we were an 'us'." He said looking back at me and biting his lip.

"I didn't either." I stroked his cheek softly. "But we work together. We're good together. Are you willing to risk that for her?"

Okay, guilt should not be a feeling. It might have sounded like I was worried about him, but the thing is I was covering my own ass. Wanting him to be my secure move every time. I bit my lip trying to maintain my expression, looking at his confused face. He shook his head.

"I don't know. But I have to try anyway. Besides, you didn't look too worried about me."

"But I am worried about you!" I cupped his face now, though I was trying to convince myself more that him. "You know I like to flirt around and we've never had a problem with that before. And it works cause you know I wouldn't hurt you... ever!"

"I know, I know." He sighed looking back at me and taking my hands away from his face. He swallowed and lowered his voice. "But if you can have your fun then so can I."

I smiled. "Sure you can, baby..." I leaned in, planting a small kiss on his lips. "Cause those girls are pretty fine if you ask me." I giggled and kissed him again, the nut on my stomach slowly untangling, thinking of the fun we were about to have.



Rolling my eyes at Brendon, I moved back to the front of the bus slowly. The truth was, I told him whatever I could to keep him calm. I didn’t want him ruining whatever it was that I had going for me. And I sure didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship. Biting my fingernails, I sat back down beside Firith, who was still typing away on her laptop.
With another glare in Brendon’s direction, and a clear of my throat, I spoke softly.

“Sorry about that,” I shrugged. I saw her body stiffen and I inwardly groaned. Whatever progress I might have been making with her was definitely slighted by Bren’s little stunt.

She shrugged and mumbled, her eyes unmoving from the screen. “Whatever…”
This wasn’t going to be easy.

“So now you’re going to shut me out?” I asked, trying to read her expression effortlessly. She sighed and stole a glance at me.

“It’s just… weird.”

“I know…” Boy did I ever know. “It’s just…” I stopped and sighed yet AGAIN, watching her eyes before looking down to my hands. “Maybe I can explain it better another time.”

She stared at me, completely void of emotion. “And why not now?” She questioned.

“I want to be in… in private.” I explained, looking around the room. If we weren’t alone, I’d have to worry about Brendon’s prying eyes and ears.

“Oh,” She replied. “Okay.”

We sat in silence for another minute, and I decided to leave her with her thoughts. I sure was anxious to get back into my bunk with my own. “Well I just wanted you to know that I’m not going to act any differently after what happened earlier…” I was struggling with my words, sorting out what I needed and what I wanted to say in my head. “Maybe we can get breakfast together in the morning?” I waited for her answer, gnawing on my bottom lip in a nervous habit.

She gave a small smile, biting her lip in the exact same way. “I’d like that.”

I grinned happily, I intended on showing her a good time, and maybe even tell her more about the relationship between Brendon and I. I wanted to be completely honest.

“Well, sleep tight then.” I leaned over slightly, wanting to kiss her so badly, but I decided not to at the last minute, and just sat there, smiling like an idiot. Firith swallowed and gripped my face, kissing me tenderly.

“Night…” She whispered.

I was shocked, but decided not to take time to question her, especially since I’d been aching to kiss her since our lips first met. I placed my lips to hers again sweetly, caressing her cheek with the back of my hand.

“Night.” I said, getting up and leaving her there. I glanced back a few times on the way to my bunk, even catching her eyes once or twice.

Sliding into my bunk, I sighed and clutched my pillow, thinking about my past relationships. And the heartache that went along with them.

Damn Ryan, what are you doing?



I lied in my bunk a while later, making sure everyone else was in bed and hopefully asleep. Damn Firith who took forever to go to bed! Well, it wasn't a secret to anyone that she was insomniac, so I waited enough to make sure she was asleep too before sneaking out of my bunk and into Ryan's one. He was still awake and rolled over to me.

"Hey. Can't sleep?" He whispered.

"Not really..." I hugged him. "What's keeping you up?"

Ryan smiled "I dunno really. Must be the nap from earlier." I chuckled and nuzzled his neck.

"Liar..."

"Okay. I'm caught." He chuckled.

"So, what is it?" I asked looking at him. He shook his head and caressed my face, avoiding my eyes.

"Nothing..." He said evasively.

"Ryan... don't lie to me. I know you too well already. I know something is bothering you."

"I don't want to do this, Bren." He traced a finger over my lip as he bit his own. "I don't want to talk. Or get into this now." I smiled and gave him a little reassuring kiss.

"Okay..." I simply said, hugging him and kissing him again softly. Ryan bit his lip, smiled and kissed me back. I felt him being a little awkward, but I knew exactly how to make him relax.

I kissed him a little harder, wrapping my arms on his waist, pulling him closer to me and deepening the kiss. Ryan sighed and responded to it, groaning .

"Bren..." I kissed his neck, sliding my hands under his shirt before pulling it off. "You want to do this now?"

I chuckled and looked at Ryan. "You don't?"

"Yeah. Yeah... I do." He gave in, kissing me a little harder now, throwing my own shirt away. I smiled and pulled away taking his hand, silently guiding him out of his bunk. I saw him give a nervous little glance at the back of the bus before following me into the bathroom, locking the door behind us.

The rest of our clothes were pulled out in mere seconds, never breaking the heated kiss we were into now. Our cocks rubbing and teasing, making me want him even more. I wrapped my hand around his swollen member, stroking him, gaining a deep groan and a few thrusts into my hand. I smirked and walked back, till my back was leaning on the wall, then pushed him away. Ryan stared at me, his chest heaving as I reached for my jeans and retrieved a little bottle, already too familiar for both of us. Ryan smirked now and took the bottle from me, slathering himself on the content.

I bit my lip, looking at him expectantly. Only a few seconds later I was pinned against the wall, being pounded away by my skinny little boy, who was hitting that right spot every time. I pulled his hair, pressing my lips against his to keep the sounds as down as possible. His mouth fell from mine as he buried his face on my neck and I knew he was close. That's how well I know him. Still clinging to him, I threw my head back, biting my lip, choking all moans and gasps.

"R-rya-n." I stammered as my own peak crept upon me, making me sink my teeth in my lips right before shooting in between the two of us, followed half second later by Ryan, who chose my neck as the biting place.

Both stood there trying to catch our breaths for awhile, then cleaning ourselves and getting dressed again. For some reason no words where exchanged and I didn't wanna break the silence in case anyone could hear us. As quietly as we came into the bathroom, we walked out.

As Ryan and I shared our last little quiet kiss, we heard noises of something falling in the kitchenette. Startled, both made our way to the front door and peeked in, being caught in the act. Ryan pressed his lips together and I just stared blankly as Firith looked at us coldly and walked past us to the bunk area.

Woah. intense. I liked it! lol update again soon! :]

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*loves her reader*

This message has been edited. Last edited by: NothingRhymesWithFirith,

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On this ch.
Firith's POV is white
Kris' POV is pink
Brendon's POV is yellow
Ryan's POV is black

.-



Ch3. I'm so attracted to you. The feeling's mutual too.


I'm a stupid ass...
Always falling for the wrong guy and stupid enough to believe him.
Well, at least I was still in time to get the fuck away from it, right?

We stopped at the next venue early in the morning and I knew I had slept only a few hours. It wasn't a secret to anyone that I had sleeping problems, but last night, after what happened backstage, in the bus and what I had the misfortune to hear, it got worse. Knowing full well I wouldn't go back to sleep, I rolled out of my bunk silently, grabbing a hoodie and my smokes and exited the bus, the cool morning air waking me up even more.

I settled around the picnic tables, smoking and looking around the deserted venue, till a soft tingle on the back of my neck made me uncomfortable. I knew it was him. I just knew. I heard him sigh a couple of times and fidget his feet on the dirt, but I didn't turn, enjoying the last of my smoke, waiting for him to talk. But his maintained silence and loud thinking got the best of my patience.

"Need anything, Ross?" I said still not turning and flipping my smoke away.

"You didn't sleep well." Was all he said. I turned briefly and raised an eyebrow, speaking in monotone.

"I never do. Everyone knows that." He sighed.

"I guess I deserve you being so upset." Wasn't he smart???

"Really? What makes you think that?" I said in my best sarcastic tone, not looking at him.

"Yeah. I know. I meant what I said last night though. But I don't think I could ever make you understand." He said quietly. I turned around and saw him looking down, kicking the dirt.

"Well, maybe if you try to explain... even at the sight of the recent events, I'm not that stupid." I stared at him waiting for an answer as I lighted another smoke.

"You want explanation? There was a girl. You know her. She ruined me. Literally. Ripped my heart right out and pissed all over it." Hell, didn't I know who she was? I hated her. And hearing him say these things made me hate her even more. "And no one was there for me. But my best friend. I'm... I'm safe with him. He gets me. And he'll protect me." Ryan sighed rubbing his face and looked at me. "Brendon is my security blanket. Okay?"

I stared back blankly. "Okay... then why taking your chances with me? Why including me in your little agreement when you're clearly terrified of it?" I said blowing out smoke

"I...don't really know. And I AM scared. I just know that I think you're special." He hung his head after that. I blinked a couple of times wondering if I'd heard right.

"You're not the only one with a previously broken heart here, Ryan. You're not the only one scared shitless of getting hurted again." I confessed.

"I know."

We fell silent for another while and I flicked my smoke to the ground, standing up.

"Maybe you should think all of this over. Make sure of what it is you really want and what chances are you willing to take." I said a little softer now.

"I dunno. Maybe I should. But I don't want to fuck up my chance with you." He looked at me briefly again. I rolled my eyes.

"So you wanna 'try me out' and still keep Brendon?" I said shaking my head.

"...No! I'm not like that. If you... I mean, if we do whatever, the Brendon stuff is... is done." Ryan stammered, looking at me intently.

"We'll see if that works." I said as I started walking away from him. He didn't move from his spot, probably wondering what I meant. I know I was wondering that too. I stopped and turned. "Are you coming or not? You still owe me breakfast..."

The tiniest sweetest smile appeared on Ryan's face now. "Right... breakfast." He said with a light chuckle, catching up and walking by my side.



Okay. This is ridiculous. I’m more nervous around Brendon AFTER fucking him than I was before. I was jumpy trying to work around him staring at me as I wrote down a list of things I needed to go out and retrieve for the band while we were stopped. I decided to break the awkward silence.

“Is there anything you want to add to the list, Urie?” I was desperately trying not to act differently.

Brendon smirked, amusement in his eyes, which were still locked on me and asked, “Since when do you call me Urie?”

I chuckled, balancing the clipboard I was using on my hip. “I don’t know…So? I’ve got your juice… and…?” I stared at him questionably.

He smiled sweetly. I wanted to jump him. “Gummy bears?” He half asked/questioned.

“Gummy bears? Okay.” I chuckled and added them to the list. He giggled, making me look up.

“I was kidding. But I’ll have some anyways. Are you okay?” He stared into my eyes and traced trails up my arm with the tips of his fingers. I looked down at them, and back up again, trying to keep from visibly shivering.

“Fine. Why?”

Brendon shrugged. "You seem…nervous.”

I chuckled. “Really?” Maybe I should stop trying NOT to be awkward.

“I thought we passed all the awkwardness?” He asked as if reading my mind. He titled his head in the cutest way and gave me an extra sweet look. Fucking cute bastard.

“Well, I tried. And I don’t feel awkward around you as a person, but as my boss? It’s still weird.”

“Oh well… I can understand that. But don’t worry so much. It’s not like I’l force you to do things. Or threaten your job.”

“Of course you wouldn’t. I’d sure you for sexual harassment.” I told him with a straight face. “Just kidding.”

“You would?” Brendon looked shocked, and I held in a giggle. He rolled his eyes. “Hahaha” He chuckled, sticking out his tongue.

I giggled back, fighting off thoughts about that tongue. “Shouldn’t you be doing something other than watching me work?”

“Not really.” He replied. “Why? Am I bothering you?”

“Nope. Not at all. Just wondering.”

He sucked a lollipop into his mouth and I watched, really wanting to be in it’s place. “You want to get something to eat?”

I tried hard not to focus too hard on his lips and told him yes before hurrying off to get ready.



Kris and I entered the cafeteria and I immediately spotted Ryan and Firith giggling and having breakfast. If you can call coke breakfast.

"Hey guys! Good morning!" I said sitting in their table. I saw Firith roll her eyes while Ryan gave me a fake smile.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Kris said sitting by my side.

"Hey you! You woke up happy today..." Firith said, with a light chuckle at Kris.

"I'm always like this!" Kris shook her head. Ryan was staring at me with a raised eyebrow, I guess he didn't like me being there, but I chose to ignore him.

"What do you want me to get you?" I asked Kris with a smile.

"'ll have whatever you have I guess."

"Okay!" I stood up to get some food for us, watching Ryan's eyes roll in annoyance.I got back with a sandwich for me and grilled cheese for her. "I heard around you like grilled cheese." I said handing her the plate.

"Yeah, I do... " She said biting her lip.

Firith stood up suddenly. "I better get going."

"Okay, what do you have to do? I'll come with you." Ryan said standing as well. I gave him a questioning look he ignored.

"No need! Just work stuff... you guys have an interview this afternoon."

"We do?" I asked, sipping my red-bull.

Firith checked her palm. "Local radio station."

"Fun!" I said smiling at Kris again. "Will you help me pick my outfit?"

"Of course silly. It's what I get paid for..." She giggled and I did too. I watched Ryan with the corner of my eye scratching his head. It was really amusing to see him this nervous.

"Okay, well... Are you sure you don't want me to walk you?" He insisted, making me choke a laugh.

Firith looked at us. "It's okay really. It's pretty boring." She said, making Ryan sigh and me roll me eyes.

"Just go and stop being a pussy!!" I giggled pushing Ryan away, gaining a death glare.

"Whatever. Look, I'm not staying here. So we might as well walk together. See you around Kris." He said before walking off with Firith as Kris told them bye.

"What the heck is wrong with them?" I asked casually.

"You're asking me? That was definitely weird!" Kris said with a chuckle eating her cheese.

"Oh Nevermind! What do you think I should wear today?" I took another sip from my drink, shrugging off the awkwardness of the previous scene.

"Well, I have this red dress..." She said pretending to think.

I laughed. "You think my hips will fit?"

"I hope so! We may have to stuff the top though." She giggled. I looked at her.

"Yeah, I see why." I said, trying to smile innocently.

"You are so NOT innocent! Don't even look at me like that."

"Oh well... you've seen my...not so innocent side." I smirked at her and she did the same, biting her lip.

"If that was not so innocent, I'd like to see devilish." She battled her eyelashes at me. "But I guess we'd better get going if I have to help hunt down the perfect outfit... girlfriend."

"Maybe I'll show you soon." I said with a wink. "Let's finish our food, there's no rush."

Both kept eating our breakfast in peace, talking about random stuff. But Ryan and his awkwardness didn't leave my mind. I knew he liked the girl, but he also said it was just for fun. I guess I have to give the kid a little time. In the meantime, the hot girl I had infront of me could make a nice distraction, and it seems she's all about playing as well.



I walked with Firith silently back to our bus, still unhappy with the way Brendon ruined our good time. I guess I had to face things, whenever he came around things were going to get awkward between us, no matter how hard I tried for it to be different. I opened the door for her and she climbed in with me behind her. I slumped wordlessly onto the front lounge couch, searching the cushions for the Mp3 player I’d seen Spence stash there last night.

I watched her as she did some random stuff, and occasionally, we’d lock eyes. I wanted her. But I wanted her for so much more than just what she’d thought. There was just something about her. And we were so much alike, it was kinda scary.
I thought we’d be great together, once she got over the Brendon thing…
And I did too.

When she passed by me the last time, I held my hand out and smiled up at her, making her smile back. “Why don’t you take a break?”

She looked down at me and sighed. “I can’t…I have to get these done.”

She was too adorable. I smirked, and rolled my eyes playfully. “And exactly who is the boss here?”

I almost laughed out loud when she smiled back and said, “Not you. I work for your record company.”

I just grinned and chuckled. “You’re such a smartass.”

“I guess I can afford a small break.” She gave in, giggling and sitting beside me. I scooted a little closer to her, smiling and biting down on my lip nervously.

“I’m sorry we got interrupted. I thought we were having a pretty good time. “

“We were,” She began, taking a sip of her coke. “But I guess you can’t ask for too much privacy around here.”

“I think… I think we should take advantage of it now though…” I smiled, leaning closer into her. And biting my lip, hard.

She mimicked me in the most adorable way. “Maybe…”

“We’ll see then…” I said breathily, moving closer and finally pressing my lips to hers. She sighed, kissing me back and I cupped her cheek and deepened it. Before long, we were engaged in a full on make out session, with no Brendon there to ruin it for us, for which I was grateful.

She moved a little closer and I wrapped my arms tight around her lower back. She ran her fingers through my hair, making me groan and I swear I felt myself start to swell beneath my pants.

Once the kisses got urgent and needy, she pulled away, leaving me breathless. “I have to get back to work.”

I bit my lip again and moved back, watching her hopefully. I didn’t want this to end. “Okay… maybe we’ll… hang out later?”

“Actually, I think I'm gonna nap.” She replied, rubbing her eyes.

“I think I do too. Would you like to join me?”

She smiled shyly, and I felt the urge to kiss her again. “Just… Let me finish this okay?” She kept the smile on her face as she kissed me sweetly, and I almost melted. She got up and went back to work while I waited happily.

“Okay. Done.” She said finally after I had already began to doze on the couch. She chuckled, and I took her hand wordlessly and led her to my bunk where she climbed in.

Aww I like it!
More soon?

doode. You are so good at writing! lol

I didn't write it alone xD
it was co-written...

But thank you!! ^_^


*loves her commenters*

On this chapter:
Firith's POV is white
Kris' POV is pink

Join our fbr fiction site FUELED BY FICTION

.-


Ch4. It's something new. Amazing feeling I have for you


2 weeks.
2 weeks of going out and walk around the venues, have breakfast or lunch, curl up on the couch to watch a movie, hide in his bunk and make out before we nap.
2 weeks of spending all day with him and still hear him with Brendon at night.
Ryan never told me and I never asked. I guess I rather pretend that I don't know than actually face the problem, already aware of the power Brendon had over Ryan.
The worse part though was knowing Brendon was fucking Kris... in more ways than one. But I just couldn't bring myself to tell her.
Tonight it would be different, tonight is hotel night and even when I'm pairing with Kris and Ryan with Brendon, he already asked me to hang out after the show. And I know Brendon invited Kris to his room for the night.

I entered the hotel room, dropping my laptop on the closest bed. The shower was running, so I assumed Kris was already there getting ready for her ni