Yes, this story is a parody of all the other stories written about the video, so don't take it too seriously. This story also appears on Mibba.com and my fiction site: http://www.freewebs.com/the-fantasists-sorority. Enjoy!

A Little Less Sixteen Candles...:The Director’s Cut

Chapter 1:
The Vampire Is...

It was a dark and stormy night...Nah, scratch that shit. It was dark, but the air was balmy with a light breeze blowing in from the south. A super-hip and so-cool-it-gave-you-irritable-twitching uber-popular party was happening at 96 Gerard Way, Stacey Safesexington’s house. Okay, so I really wouldn’t call it a popular, alcohol-fuelled, hollering fuck-fest. Stacey Safesexington was the local self-righteous swot who always ate her vegetables and played by the rules.

“Okay, everybody!” Stacey gleefully announced. “Who wants to play some Scrabble?”

The 10 people gathered in the lounge stifled yawns and groans. One person had even pulled a One-Flew-Over-The-Cuckoo’s-Nest and escaped through the lounge room window, shards of glass shattered al over the front lawn as evidence of the madness. Stacey, oblivious to this fact, started setting up the Scrabble board. “Isn’t this party just the neatest?!” Stacey painfully squealed.

“Fuck you, losers, you can all blow me!” spat Pete Wentz, the local bad boy that threw Cheetos at the work experience kid at 7-11 and lit cats on fire for fun. One day, he was going to leave his shithole town and become the bass player and songwriter of a famous band that was named after a minor Simpsons character (and strangely enough, marry a Simpson ), as well as own his own record company, clothing label, have his own TV show, blog and maybe even his own cookbook. Yep, this motherfucker might just take over the whole damn world...What next, Wentz for President?

“Now, Peter, we don’t use the ‘F’ word under this roof,” chided Stacey, gently. “That will be 50 cents for the swear jar.” Stacey took the jar from atop the fireplace and handed it to Pete.

Pete stared at the jar for a few seconds before shoving his hand in it, taking a few dollars for himself. “Thanks for the tip, Stacey, how kind of you,” he smirked, already heading for the front door. He shoved the coins in the pocket of his painfully-tight red skinny jeans (At least we know one thing Pete could never be, a fashion icon... ).

“Peter, you come back here right now!” Stacey fumed. “Those dollars are not yours!”

“Enjoy your crapfest.” Pete then closed the door behind him.

Pete walked the lonely streets, deep in thought about what carnage he would commit tonight. Should he go over to his BFF Patrick’s house? Nah, Patrick was holding his monthly meetings as head of The Official David Hasselhoff Fan Club, something that sent shivers down Pete’s spine, out of fear, of course. His other friends, Andy and Joe, were in the 34th hour of the World of Warcraft battle. They hadn’t slept in a day and a half and already Joe was hallucinating, believing the Pornomime was in the corner of his room humping the wall. Pete never quite understood how he made friends with such freaks. Geographical convenience, perhaps?

Pete took the shortcut down the spooky dark alley, a traditional literary device used to create fear and suspense for the reader. Pete had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, knowing something didn’t feel right. Either that, or Pete was having a bad reaction to Stacey’s extra-special curry and rhubarb cookies.

Pete stood still in the middle of the darkened alley. He had to get the hell out of here, but he was too frightened to move, knowing something, or someone, was after him. He knew they were close.

Out of habit, Pete turned around...and was faced with a figure dressed in the finest Italian suit, fur stole and pimp cane. “Well, well, fresh meat...”

Pete froze. The man licked his lips and flashed his fangs at his soon-to-be victim. A vampire...

“Get away from me, you sick fuck!” Pete bellowed, echoing down the corridor. He began to run, but he felt a tightening around himself, and he was soon pulled back towards the vampire with a sickening and violent thud against the hard and cold concrete. He squirmed, struggling to get up.

“Hush, young fellow,” spoke the menacing figure. “All will be alright. I’ll save you...”

Pete groaned as the throbbing in his head got stronger. “Who...who are you?”

“I’m William, dear boy,” the vampire spoke. “William Beckett, the campest vampire in all the land, the master of sexual innuendo, gay undertones and finest Italian apparel to spare. I also love antiques and Clay Aitken. Ready for your punishment?”

Pete tried to move, but to no avail. He wasn’t really scared about being the potential next meal for the vampire towering over him, but he had a sneaking suspicion that William was going to make him his homosexual cabana boy back at his vampire lair. Pete was practically being choked by William’s gay vibes, they were so strong!

“Just leave me!” Pete cried, rather pathetically, betraying his tough personality he wore like a badge of honour.

“Oh, hush!” William replied. “I’ve always wanted to add a sexy emo boy to my collection...” William, the only gay vampire in the village, flew over Pete’s bruised body and lowered his lips to his neck. Before Pete realised it, William sunk his fangs into his neck, drinking and drinking like Tara Reid at an open bar.

Pete passed out, his surroundings turning black. He was yet to be confronted with the monster he had now become...(Let’s just pray he won’t be as camp as William!)

Dude, no offence, but there have been 100 ALLSC...ALMTM fics, and they all end up in the graveyard~.

It's good.

quote:

Originally posted by Ryro.is.love.<3:
Dude, no offence, but there have been 100 ALLSC...ALMTM fics, and they all end up in the graveyard~.

Then why are you here reading it? I think I can write about it as much as anyone else. Besides, I'm only joking about the whole story, it was never meant to be serious. And trust me, this story is alive and well on mibba.com. Thanks for the opinion, though.

I really like this!
lolz.
it's funneh!

lol he liked setting cats on fire in his free time...

this is... weird...

I agree with Taylor that most of these takeoffs of A Little Less Sixteen Candles... never last too long~.

And I agree with Shannzy that's it's weird, and if you don't mind me saying (or even if you do mind me saying, actually), this fic seems like it's trying too hard to be funny. You know what I mean?

Hmm, I'll have to disagree with you guys on that one. I've been writing my own take off on ALLSC and it's been doing fine so far.

She should be allowed to write about this without having people heckle her. Maybe the jokes are a little much but some of them were funny from my perspective. People shouldn't just come in and start shooting her down. It's unkind and unfair.

quote:

Originally posted by doormouse:
Hmm, I'll have to disagree with you guys on that one. I've been writing my own take off on ALLSC and it's been doing fine so far.

She should be allowed to write about this without having people heckle her. Maybe the jokes are a little much but some of them were funny from my perspective. People shouldn't just come in and start shooting her down. It's unkind and unfair.

i like the jokes...and i haven't seen any of the whatchamacallims so its like a totally new story! also, never seen the music vid...

doormouse, what I mean is, the fics that are supposed to be parodies of this specific music video never end up doing too well.

And some things are just naturally funny, but some things, on the other hand, seem like they are trying too hard to be funny. I believe this fic falls into that latter category.

I'm not saying I don't like it (though I don't care for it much). I've gotten as many flames as the next person on my fanfics.


Bleh, ignore me. I'm having personal issues right now, I need to take it out on something. This fic just happened to be an opportune outlet.

I am getting what you're saying, I just don't find it fair for everyone to come in and tell her that her fic is probably going to fail and die. It's just not very kind.
I agree with you that some of the jokes were a little overbearing but I don't want our comments to discourage her. In fact, having this conversation here is probably not being to helpful either, ah well.

I hope you are able to sort out your problems.

Thank you.

Besides, I don't think it's rude or unkind to tell people your honest opinions. Even though they may not be the nicest comments in the world. I admit that tagging on the phrase "no offense" does not always omit all offense.

I am truly sorry if I offended anyone.

hey, if i say its weird, thats not an insult. im probly one of the weirdest people on this site. to me "weird" is more of a... i dunno, im confusing myself

Thanks for all your feedback and such, but if this fic is not working out, I guess its just best to just close it.

When I write fanfic, I'm usually just kidding around and go all out with my jokes. I just don't take it as seriously as others do, and I actually am a serious writer. I just write fanfic for fun. And I don't try hard to impress people with my jokes. If you like them, you do; if you don't, well you don't. I guess some of you missed the word 'parody' at the beginning of the story.

I didn't realise this fic was going to go down like a lead balloon and I'm sorry it wasn't to everyone's liking. I have a pretty twisted sense of humour, I admit, and I know not everyone sees its like that. I didn't realise this fic was going to be such a bother. I give other people's stories a chance and I've seen other people on here write about Sixteen Candles, so I didn't think it was going to be such a big deal.

Thanks for your time, but I guess if no one read my first fic, or this one, then I guess I should just stop trying on here. Please close this topic, as I won't be posting it here anymore. If you do want to read it, go to Mibba.com.

Thanks,
Bella.