It's crap. I know. It was just an idea that popped into my head the other day and wouldn't leave until i'd written it down.

I was sat on my bed leaning against the wall. My knees were hugged up tightly to my chest and my eyes were wide open. My breathing was irregular and I was close to tears. In short I was absolutely terrified.
It’s easier to be calmer when it’s light or when you can actually see what you’re afraid of. But when it’s dark and there’s nobody else around it makes the experience so much more frightening. Take last night for example. I had been sat on my own in my room when the door opened and shut quietly in an oh so familiar way. Then there had been the cold feeling I had, almost like somebody was wrapping their arms around me from behind and smiling against my skin, something that I was also used to. And then there was the cold rush of air, almost like somebody was whispering ‘I love you’ in my ear.
The fact that I find this familiar and it scares me may confuse you a little but I haven’t explained properly yet.
Two months ago I had been in a car crash, this could’ve been fatal but it wasn’t. At least, not for me. My boyfriend had died. We both knew that he was going to before the ambulance got there so I held onto him tightly and told him all the things that I needed to say (perfect movie moment). All these actions (and more terrifying and potentially life threatening ones) have been happening for about two months now. At first I thought it was grief, so did Spencer. Then I thought I was going insane, Jon did too. But now… I think I’m being haunted. And I know why. I did the stupidest thing ever. When I was saying my last goodbyes (how clichéd) I’d said something. I never meant it this way, but it happened.
I’d told him to haunt me.
I should’ve guessed that he would it was so obvious. He did everything I asked, he was perfect. But I’d never imagined that he’d be this angry .
Looking back it was always there. So much that he hadn’t said, things he needed to say. All the anger and pain from everything in his past that he’d locked away and refused to let anyone see. He had to be perfect. He always let what everyone else would think get in the way. In the way of exactly what he said, what he wrote, how he dressed, what he said to everyone. He even let it get in the way of us . I’ve lost count of the amount of times that I’ve asked him to tell everyone that we’re together. Tell them that we don’t care what they think. But of course we could do that because he didn’t believe it himself.
I know that what had happened to him when he was younger was bad. I knew that he wouldn’t speak about it. I thought that it was just that he didn’t want me to know but he’d told me that he was scared, scared of reliving it all and that he didn’t feel like he could tell me.
Right now I can see how angry he was. And it did scare me, but it also hurt me to know that he never let it out, he just bottled it away inside.
The books on the bookshelf (all his, he loved to read) are being flung violently round the room, some coming close to me and hitting the walls next to me. He made the lights flicker on and off until the bulb refused to work anymore. The mirror smashed like somebody had punched it and the wallpaper was being ripped off the walls. After a while this motion became more precise and accurate than it was to start with, like he’d had an idea. It was being torn off slowly, accurately like somebody was tearing a picture out of it. I watched intently. The atmosphere in the room had become less violent, more forceful. The kind like, when you walk into a room and somebody is concentrating really hard and the atmosphere just demands silence. I watched intently, half curious, half scared.
It wasn’t a picture. It was letters, words. I watched as the words formed. My eyes widening as I realised what it was saying.
Say my name.
I shook my head.
‘No’ I told him. I’d only ever seen him out of the corner of my eye. In flashes, when I turn round and I see him standing there, smiling at me. More letters appeared.
Please
I shook my head again.
‘No, Just go away!’ I never thought I’d be shouting that at the person I loved. No words this time, at least not on the wall.
‘Brenny bear! I know you can hear me. Say my name. Just say it. Only once. Say it for me. I love you.’ he said in a sing song voice. Although I could recognise it as his voice (I would anywhere) it sounded eerie, not quite right.
‘Why?’ I whispered back shakily. He giggled, it sounded insane.
‘Because, I can see you. don’t you want to see me too? I’m right here. Can’t you see me? Why wont you say my name?’ I swallowed back my fear.
‘What good will it do? You’re dead. You’re always going to be dead. It won’t make any difference if I can see you or not. I don’t even know if it is you.’ I said in more than a whisper, but not much more.
‘Oh, it’s me alright. What’s wrong? Why are you scared? I wont hurt you. I love you. Don’t you love me too? You said you did, you told me so many times. I want you to love me back. I wasn’t loved when I was younger. Then you came and you loved me, just like that. I didn’t have to do anything, you just loved me and I love you back. I love you so much, just say my name. Make me real. Please.’
I was crying now. Silently, but crying. I love him I really do, but I’m scared of what will happen if I say his name. ‘Please Bren, say my name.’ I hated the fact that I couldn’t see where his voice was coming from but I was starting to think about saying it. I think that made him more real. Fingertips ghost across the back of my neck and brush along my cheek. They travel slowly, gently down my arm and come to rest covering my hand with a chilling kind of warmth. I shudder. ‘Please.’
And it’s so filled with emotion it’s so desperate and so despairing that I just can’t say no. Then again, I never could when he pleaded like that.
I drop my head in defeat and close my eyes, pushing two more tears into the streams running down my cheeks. I hear them drop onto my shirt. I whisper one word. One sorrowful, love filled word.
‘Ryan’
I keep my head down, not daring to look up but I’m made to. Fingers pull my head up slowly and despite myself I open my eyes.
He’s sat next to me, looking the same as ever if not more beautiful than I remember. He’s smiling that small smile which is so much more than it seems at first glance. I have to touch him. I just have to. I reach out slowly and brush my fingers down his neck. He closes his eyes and leans into it slightly. I exhale heavily.
‘Why are you here?’ I ask. He opens his eyes.
‘You told me to.’ I sigh.
‘I know but… you’re dead. I love you but… You can’t be here. You’re not alive.’ He smiles softly.
‘But I am here. Can’t you just let it go?’ I look at him before sighing.
‘You scared me.’ I tell him. He smiles softly.
‘I couldn’t help it. I was so angry. I’m sorry.’ I stare at him.
‘Why were you angry?’ I ask, he shakes his head sadly.
‘You didn’t like me being here. I was angry with the fact that I couldn’t do anything about the fact that I’m trapped, I was angry because I loved you and you didn’t seem to love me anymore. I was also angry because I felt alone and scared, it’s the only way I know how to react. I was so angry before I died and it’s the only solid thing I have apart from memories and you.’ he told me quietly.
‘I’m sorry’ I whisper. He shakes his head again.
‘You asked me to haunt you, I didn’t want to let you down.’ I swallow down everything I could say because I don’t want to argue with him, not now.
‘I miss you.’ I lean against him and he wraps his arms around me tightly. I can feel him but at the same time I can’t. He’s warm, but at the same time he’s icy cold. I know this can’t last forever.
‘Come with me.’ he whispers. ‘Don’t leave me, stay with me, forever.’ He whispers and I have to admit, it does sound good.
‘How?’ I ask his softly. He presses his lips against my neck and smiles.
‘Jump. Just jump.’ He tells me. My eyes snap open.
‘You mean suicide?’ I ask incredulously.
‘I can’t stay here forever. You’re the only reason I’m here now. I don’t know when I’ll have to leave and I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to leave you on your own. Please Bren.’ I bite my lip.
‘I… I don’t want to die.’ I tell him. He smiles.
‘It’s not so bad. I mean, obviously it’s bad but it could be worse.’ I look up at him.
‘Does it hurt?’ I ask quietly.
‘Not really. It’s kind of odd but it doesn’t hurt.’ He tells me. I shake my head.
‘I can’t do it. What about all the people I’ll leave behind? What about the rest of my life? It’s not fair to make me do that Ryan.’ His eyes go cold.
‘What about me? do you think it’s fair that I didn’t even have a choice? Do you think it’s fair that I had to leave all my friends, that I had to leave you behind when I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you? Do you think it’s fair that I had to die when I did and give up the rest of my life?’ he asks acidly. The air in the room starts to move warningly and the temperature drops. Is this what effect his emotions have on the world?
‘No, of course not, it’s just… I’m scared.’ I admit. The room warms up a little and the wind dies down.
‘You wont be alone, I’ll jump with you. You don’t need to be scared. It wont hurt. I promise.’ He reassures me, holding me a little tighter. I sigh contentedly, just to be back with him now is good, to stay with him forever, sounds incredible.
‘Okay, I’ll do it.’ I whisper, not really knowing what I’m saying. He smiles and kisses the top of my head.
Trancelike I walk out of my room, Ryan next to me holding my hand. I don’t really know what I’m doing or how I’m doing it but I find myself stood on the roof. It’s cold up here, and it’s a long way down. ‘Ry, I don’t think I can.’ I tell him looking over the edge. He stands behind me and crosses his arms protectively over my chest.
‘Hey, I love you. Do it for me.’ I think that it’s fair to say that at this point I’m no longer fully coherent. The fact that I’m agreeing to do something for Ryan which the idea of would horrify him doesn’t register in my mind.
‘I love you too. Fall with me?’ he smiles at my request.
‘Anytime.’ He whispers before I close me eyes and fall off the edge of the building.
The wind rushes past my ears, I can hear Ryan laughing.
I hit the floor hard and there’s a moment of excruciating pain.
All the colors of the world rush past my eyes in a haze.
I feel my last breath leave my body.
I’m floating somewhere, I’m not sure where it is, Ryan’s here too.
Everything turns white, Ryan’s gone.
I’m dropped back to earth, I can see my body. It’s broken on the floor.
I kick and scream and cry with anger fear and loss, terrible loss.
I stand up and look around.
I realise that I can get to where Ryan is if I find someone to take my place here, in this in-between world.
I realise that Ryan tricked me and I feel so angry with him.
I realise that he didn’t know this would happen, he believed what he was saying.
I feel the loss again.
I was expecting so much from this.
I was expecting to be with him again.
Two months was long enough.
Life is not a fairy tale.
I should’ve guessed death wouldn’t be either.
I regain control of myself.
I know where I am.
I wipe the tears from my face.
I set out in search of a victim, someone to stay here while I move on.
Wait for me Ryan.
I won’t be long.

I.... am not sure of what to think. It's weird, but I liked it. I read it yesterday and I've been thinking in it all day long. It's.. impresive, but I think I don't undestand it totally... I mean, if Ryan is not tricking him when he says him to jump, why does he laugh?

Good job ^^

luvit

Cool story. It's sad that Ryan tricked him. Iliked it! :3