so, this is a new little idea i thought i would try out. here's the prologue...
let me know if i should continue!!!

I didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t want it to happen, it was just…my life was so torn apart, so useless. I couldn’t help but attempt this, hoping it would be the end. Then, I found myself falling. I couldn’t live without it. I couldn’t help myself. I spent hours tossing and turning, dreaming about his smile, about her pain. I woke and stared into space. I didn’t like it at all. I would do anything to get rid of it, but I couldn’t live without it.

it sounds interesting

if you need someone for ryan Im here

and im pippa btw

i like the title and everything so far.
update again pretty please!! =]

okay, chapter one....
Chapter 1- Accidental Mishaps

Part One-
Let’s face it. I was permanently scarred with the song. It kept playing over and over in my mind until I couldn’t possibly bare it any longer. I was in a position that I really didn’t want to be in anyway… I was a singer; I didn’t want to sing today.
When we first got signed three years ago, life was probably perfect. I got a new car and I had girls following me all over the world. I guess you could say me and my friends had cultivated the whole 12 to 25 aged population of girls. We were gone for a couple of years, though. And because of that we had to put ourselves back out there…so what better way then a headlining spot in the Midwest? Usually I was asleep when we drove through the towns but driving in daylight and staying at venues for days at a time had me more aware of the towns. We were somewhere in Ohio where we would be for two weeks. We were just about an hour away from Cleveland and no one was awake yet. I was sitting at the booth style kitchen table in our tour bus. I glanced out at the passing trees and the occasional cars. In the faint horizon, I could see buildings that looked like mirages. I heard footsteps. “What are you staring at, Bren?” I heard Ryan ask. Ryan was our lead guitarist and probably my best friend. Ryan had dark hair that had choppy bangs in the front. His eyes were a penetrating green-brown and his skin was so pale; it was ghastly. He stared at me and I noticed I hadn’t answered him yet. “Oh! Sorry, I was staring at the scenery. We never really get to see it because we are always asleep and we wake up in some other city.” Ryan looked at me with one of his eyebrows raised. “You have gotten so quiet, dude. Do you need some…caffeine?” he asked. “No, I’m alright. I guess I’m just tired. “Well you have all day to rest we don’t have a show until tomorrow night.” Ryan gave me a reassuring smile before he went to wake our body guard up just for something to do.
The bus came to a halt right outside the venue. We were at the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame. “this is so wicked! Look at that architecture!” Spencer exclaimed as we walked off the bus and over to the museum. “I can’t believe we are playing here!” Jon breathed as soon as we walked in. “hello…uh…who are you?” the pudgy balding security guard whose hat covered the giant bald spot on his head asked us as we walked in. “we’re here for a concert that you know…is sold out.”
“oh! The Panic at the Disco concert? Well, that’s not until tomorrow night. Sorry.” Ryan rolled his eyes and Spencer slapped his head with the palm of his hand. “no! you imbecile! We are the band. We are Panic at the Disco! We are here!” Ryan yelled throwing his hands out. “oh! I am so sorry! I didn’t recognize you; I guess I should’ve, seeing that there are posters of you all over town and all over the museum. There’s a woman who will be here shortly I just need to page her. Make yourselves comfortable” the security guard whose name tag read Phillip. A few moments later a woman with intense blond hair and a black pant suit with a silk collar shirt that was pretty low cut came out to greet us. “hello. My name is Susan Black and I am the coordinator for live performances at the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame. We thank you so much for your contribution to our fundraiser event tomorrow night.” she said and started walking with her hands intertwined behind her back. She walked for awhile and up a bunch of stairs and down a long hallway until we reached a meeting room. “please sit…” she motioned for us to sit down. Ryan was staring at her like she was a piece of meat and he was a starving dog. I rolled my eyes. “hey, Ryan, your dignity just fell on the floor.” I whispered. “shut up!” he grumbled and smacked my arm. “alright, so tomorrow night is our fundraiser as you hopefully know and that means people from all over the United States are going to be there. A lot of them are Teenagers who have forced their parents to bring them halfway across the country. You will be keeping twenty five percent of the proceeds.”
“wait! I thought this was just a concert, not some fundraiser. What’s the fundraiser for anyway?”
“well, it wasn’t going to be one until we found out how much money we could make from it. You guys are quite the outstanding trap.” She commented. Ryan’s eyes were wide and he had a small grin on his face. “Brendon, do something about Ry. He’s gonna fall flat on his ass.” Jon whispered to me. “what’s wrong with your friend?” Susan asked. “he just has a hard time paying attention and is a tad bit naïve. Don’t take anything he does offensively.” I said and gave her a smile. She smiled back at me and blinked twice into a scowl. Ryan still sat wide-eyed and love sick until we left the meeting. I huffed as we walked out the door. “you are such a pig” I told Ryan. “shut up, Brendon. What do you know?” he replied and walked past me. My stomach sank as I watched my band-mates walk in front of me. I felt as though they didn’t care anymore. I felt alone and that no one care for me. I didn’t know what that felt like. I had never experienced it with them in my life. I felt my heart literally break.

okay...i'll let u have Ryan, Pippa!!
i just need a description
but that's it 'cause Jon and Spencer's lovers don't really get mentioned
maybe the sequel!!! if it get's that far...
oh, and the chapters are in parts so there's a part one, part two
usually each part switches points of view JSYK
that's it, how's the first chapter!?!?

I have light brown hair that just barely goes past my shoulders i have grey/blue eyes and im 5'5 I really like dogs and tennis and i have a dog named scamp AND i am REALLY goofy and random, im east coast preppy (like keds and polo shirts not like ambercrombie and finch) but im not afraid to wear like skiny jeans and stuff, im very smart and i love science and medical shows (except for like the birth days shows D=)i make really funny, awesome facial expressions and i live (yes LIVE) to make people laugh

hahah!!! u sound sorta just like me!!!!
we're the same height, same eye color and everything!!!
okay, i'll write you in!!!
did you like the first chapter?!??!

ya it was REALLY good

really discriptive which is what im bad at and your good at lol

thanks!!! i might put a second chapter up, but its a pain so it won't be up for a while 'cause i have to do name changing, 'cause this wasn't intended to be a fanfic

Part Two-
My iPod blared in my ears. My eyes were closed and tearing from the pain of the music stabbing my eardrums. I was trying to block out every thought, every pang of pain and every memory I had. My life had turned into a downward spiral. It all started a week after my birthday of the previous year…
I was turning fifteen and I was smiling as we played hide and go seek. I was singing songs loudly and obnoxiously to make the people laugh so I could find them. When everyone was found we ran in circles then collapsed and stared at the sky. All the chests heaved as a chorus of laughter erupted. Then we ran inside to get something to drink. I had too much coke and got extremely hyper. Then that night, we sat around in the basement of my house and talked. Those were easier days…I didn’t worry. I wasn’t self conscious I was just me, I was just Mackenzie Walters. Then, not a week later I woke up and the first thing I noticed was: I had some extra skin on me and I didn’t like it. I started to work out and gradually I started getting confident. I started school in the fall and all was well. But then my father started changing. He would come home from work and I would greet him, he just blew off my greeting and asked how far along I was on my homework. I would tell him and he would burst into a huge screaming fit on how he knew I could do better and I should be finished in an hour just like him. He would storm downstairs. At first, it left me shaking as he cursed loudly. My hands would shake so terribly for twenty minutes and tears would fall. I finally grew up and I soon started to ignore him but my mind reeled. His voice would make my ears bleed and when I heard his footsteps a knot would form in my stomach. Anger ran through my veins. I was used to crying myself to sleep at night. Then I needed a crutch and that was food. I started eating; even when I wasn’t hungry I would eat a full sized meal. For five months, I kept up this habit; for five god damn months… my life was so terrible I was able to eat myself to death. Then in February I noticed I had gained weight, a lot of weight actually. So I stopped eating. I would eat occasionally so no one would worry about me. But then I reached a point where I couldn’t even force myself anymore and I would end up throwing up. Of course my mother noticed right away. I lied for as long as I could until she saw right through me. I was starting to get bad grades by falling asleep in class and while doing my homework. I was losing my friends and soon I had sunk to the bottom. I thought I reached rock bottom with only two people in my life to keep me grounded. On the last day of school, I went to a concert and that changed my retrospect on life. I went on a whim. I was basically bored and decided to go with my neighbor who had an extra ticket. The band’s music was phenomenal. It was loud and depressing to a point where it made you feel good. It was like a crutch. I came back from that concert feeling totally changed and for a week I was normal again. I called my friends that I had missed so much. I ate normally and slowly started getting back to normal. But for some reason my father started to get worse. He was on a rampage that second week of summer. He yelled constantly. He would walk into the room I was in and change the channel without asking me first. When I would complain he would tell me to shut up and pay the bills. When I would listen to the band’s-Panic at the Disco- music he would yell at me and say the music was turning me into a bitch. I was being verbally abused and it hurt more and more each day. By the third week I was sick again.
Back to the present. I heard my father’s footsteps coming up the stairs. “Oh dear God!” I thought and I started to panic. I pulled the ear phones out of my ears threw my iPod into my closet. I laid down on my bed and pretended to sleep. “Wake up, it’s twelve o’clock and I’m not having you sleep all day. You ungrateful whore.” He said and gave me a hard push. I opened my eyes and glared at him. My heart was heavy with anger and my chest heaved as my breaths started getting short. “get the hell up!” he yelled and yanked me off the bed. I fell on my bottom and the impact hurt so terribly I yelped. “what now? God you’re so high maintenance.” He said and shook his head. “get down here in five minutes or you’re going to have hell to pay.” He commanded. His steps left the room and I waited until he was at the bottom of the steps. I put my arms around my knees and put my head down in my lap. My shoulders shook and warm tears fell from my eyes. I cried until I heard the possessed man downstairs screamed my name so loud it scared me and more tears fell. “Mackenzie! Get your ass down here or I’m throwing you out of the house!” he yelled. I stood up and saw my reflection as I passed a mirror in the hallway. My makeup had ran and black tear tracks were falling. I tried to compose myself but I couldn’t I ended up downstairs with black streaks. “why are you crying?” he asked in an angered tone. I couldn’t think of a lie. “answer me, bitch” he screamed. “I…don’t…know.” I answered in between sobs. “Figures.”
“w…w…where is m…m…mom?” I stammered. “I’m right here, David why were you yelling at her?” she asked. I loved my mom. She was the third person who kept me grounded. She was on my side all the time.
“Because I don’t want that slut sleeping all day ‘cause she has to stay up searching for that band.”
“Dad, I don’t even stay on that late. Plus, I do other things as well.”
“No you don’t. you sit on that damn laptop of yours listening to that same crap everyday. Get a life. They wouldn’t even show an interest in you. You’re too clingy and loose moraled.” I stood in the kitchen.
My father had gone on my laptop and looked at all my files. He found a story I had written about teenaged pregnancy that was for English class. He thought the story was about me and forced me to take a pregnancy test and grounded me when it came out negative. He said I sabotaged it.
I felt so awkward, so exposed in the kitchen. “I’m eating outside.” I said. I walked outside and took my plate to the garbage bins behind my garage. I dumped it in the barrel and threw the plate against the wall. I fell down to my balled up position and cried. I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket and I took it out. I had one new text message from my friend who was basically my sister, Christina Jacobs or Crissy. “What’s up?” the text asked. “nothing much, my dad is being a jerk again.” A few minutes later my phone vibrated again. “just a jerk today?” she asked. “no. I just can’t think of a better word” I replied. “how about a mother trucker?” she offered. “Okay…that’s just so you to invent an alternative word.”
“Ha-ha, well I gotta go. Good luck!”
That was the last I heard from her. I was alone for a moment. I decided to type randomly on a blank message.
For the sun only rises on the eighth day of the week. My senses give in and my legs buckle. I’m being eaten by a monster who doesn’t even like my taste. The bridges had been burned but I don’t understand how he keeps getting to me. My broken heart can never be fixed. My damaged thoughts will never be healed. Tonight I will sit alone and pray for you to come to me…
I decided it was good enough to send to someone. One of my friends- who I wasn’t really friends with anymore, but still kept in touch with- wrote songs and I thought she could use it for something. writing was a therapeutic release for me. I wrote everything. From two page stories to whole novels. Poems to songs, journals to diaries. I especially preferred fiction. It was the one place I could hide and pretend I was something else. I could be a free spirited butterfly who had many friends and no worries. I could be an innocent child whose best friend was a teddy bear. I could be free, I could be happy I could be someone who wasn’t me.
I typed in the address until I noticed a mistake. I had flip-flopped the area code and the first three numbers. I was scared silly when it said it was sent successfully. “oh dear God!” I started to panic and I walked around the yard mumbling to myself. I couldn’t stay home. I needed to get out, I needed to get away. I snuck off to the park, texting my mother to let her know where I was going; I told her to not tell Dad. She wouldn’t. I let my feet walk and think for me. The rest of me was frozen.

dats sad

but the chapter was good

this is really good!!! and if jon still needs a lover fur your sequel im available im sophia

Wait I don't like my description but I can't rewrite it now so go on the "UNNAMED FIC" thread and use the one I used there

I'll post it tomorrow too but it's gonna be the same one

Wait I don't like my description but I can't rewrite it now so go on the "UNNAMED FIC" thread and use the one I used there

I'll post it tomorrow too but it's gonna be the same one that's on that thread

Wow that was realllllly good! I like it a lot!