so, after spending a lot of time reading many many fics on this site i've finally started to write my own.
all the facts in this story could be invented by me and if some of the statements are totally weird or seem strange to you please don't sue me . i know how the "real thing" goes but ive decided to make my own version.
also english is not my mother language so please ignore grammar/spelling mistakes.

now let's start...

Chapter one: Anxiousness

Now was the time. He had been waiting for this day since what seemed like forever. The past few weeks had passed so quickly and he remembered his state of trance during that time.
Sleep, more or less, eat, more or less but luckily there were no tears. He felt the deadly dose in his vest pocket. Heavy like a burden. It made him walk like an old man. Still no fear, not even a slight feeling. His hands were numb and cold as he touched the metallic door handle.
No one would find him. Eventually after some time his friends would probably go looking for him. Who was he kidding? He had no friends. Sure there were the usual hangout/homework buddies, but no one he would actually talk to about his feelings. Like they even cared if he was dead.
“Keep walking” he thought “don’t think about later”. He opened the door. The usual floor-cleaner-mixed-with-urine smell tickled his nose. The place matched his feelings. What better location is there for someone feeling as lousy and dirty as him than the men’s toilet? He looked at himself in the mirror. He didn’t look good. The bright neon light made his face appear even pales and the violet sleeping bags under his eyes didn’t make the situation any better.
“God Ryan Ross, you’ve turned into a wreck!”
“Everyone calling you their friend must feel so ashamed. Maybe it’s really best to just say goodbye forever.”
Would he be buried? He had no real family looking after him and there was also no one that cared enough to pay for him. Maybe he would just been thrown away in the crematory. “Like a rat you really want to get rid of.” He said to himself sarcastically. There was really no joy left in his fragile body. He slowly took the film-capsule like bottle out of his pocket.
His veins were pumping and he even got a little adrenaline rush.
“Anxiousness” he smiled with a bitter grin.
Luckily, everything would be over real soon.

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comment, rate, criticise... anything???

IF YOU KILL RYAN ROSS YOU will BE NEXT!
it was grate, when you gonna update, and if ryan needs anyone, can i have him?

aww... that was so sweet.
hahha now i'm motivated...
keep checking back and see what happens

Dont do it ryry!

That was REALLY good

And if you need anyone for Ryan I'm here

I'm Pippa

i like it. It seems as if he would be popular you know? i mean everyone goes on about how he is soooo hot and stuff (though my tastes are more inclined toward Brenden Urie)....but you know how it is. The lame wierd kids become famous and popular and all their enimies are like ,"Remember me form highschool? w were friends!" and then they say ,"You were not my friend! take him away security! mauahahaaaa!!!" or thats how i imagine it...

ahem...
oh yeah but if you kill him people will come after you. just a warning.

Who's brenden Urie?

yay for all you guys being so nice to comment. ILY for that
since i already have written a big part of the wole fic on my notepad i will - depending on comments- update whenever i have typed it all on my PC.
i have to go to bed but i already copied another chapter on my laptop. enjoy and dont forget to comment
-x-


Chapter 2: Safe?!

Another boy with almost the same fragile statue walked down the hall. He had seen Ryan, who was in his drama class shift a little box with his hands in his pockets. Looking at Ryans face he had figured out what Ryan planned.
Hastily he ran down the corridor.
+++++++
Ryan thought about how noone would ever understand why he did it. He never talked to anyone about his feelings, fears or problems. He didn’t want to seem vulnerable to anyone. A suicide note had never crossed his mind because, as pathetic as the thought of someone actually bothering to find out why he had killed himself, he didn’t want anyone in trouble and he also didn’t want anyone waste their time. He forced a smile and thought about the boys restroom. He would end it where it all started. Being a rape’s child often gave him to think: did his mothere really love his father even though he still molested her in their marriage? When Ryan’s mom was pregnant she had no other choice at that time than to marry Ryans father. Her family kicked her out after hearing she was pregnant at only age 13. after living with George for 3 years she couldn’t take it anymore and supposedly fled to Europe. Since then Ryan had never had contact with her and all the memories of her were her remains: he himself.
++++++++
The boy approached the restroom area at a very fast pace. He had excused himself from class right after Ryan had done the same. Being an exchange student from L.A. the teacher, Mrs. Rose who was usually very strict had let him go even with a very fragile alibi.
He had reached the boys toilet door.
He pushed it open and jumped to the sink area. What he saw made his heart skip a beat…



A/N: sorry for the little cliffhanger. update ASAP

love, M.

quote:

Originally posted by Dude-Man:
i like it. It seems as if he would be popular you know? i mean everyone goes on about how he is soooo hot and stuff (though my tastes are more inclined toward Brenden Urie)....but you know how it is. The lame wierd kids become famous and popular and all their enimies are like ,"Remember me form highschool? w were friends!" and then they say ,"You were not my friend! take him away security! mauahahaaaa!!!" or thats how i imagine it...

ahem...
oh yeah but if you kill him people will come after you. just a warning.

well ryans my type cuz hes feminin, and im not completly strate

WHAT DOES HE SEE?!?!?!?

update like NOW please

oh, and i liked the update, when be more coming?
do you wanna be adopted?

omg. i totally love you guys for liking this story you will have to wait for about an hour for the next update since i'm practising my chinese just now.

shannzy-white doe: do you want to adopt me? or were you talking to somebody else?

thanks and please bump this topic when im not around

love you guys

omg.
this effing rocks.
If brendon needs a love intrest...
I'm avilable. : D

:O
don't do it ryro!
anddd if you need anyone for bden (if he's in this story), i'll be here.

hey!
I claimed bden first.
*goes and fake pouts in a corner*
Lol jk.

~*~*~*~ UPDATE COMING IN LESS THAN 15 MINUTES~*~*~*~

so sorry to dissapoint you guys but until like chapter 13 or so i already have a fixed story. to make this more attractive to you i .promise. to give loyal readers a place in the story when i'm at the point where i can write more spontaneously.

thanks and YAY! for new readers

ily guys